We're All Mad Here
by SensiblyScrewy
Summary: One night, after his defeat, the Joker receives a visiter. Joker/OC and Bruce/OC. In the process of being revamped.
1. All The Questions That You've Posed

_**A/N: Hey, guys. I know. Whoa. Is this thing even still breathing? Yes, it is. It was just... in a coma. For about a year. And now it's got a new personality. To explain, briefly, I've decided that I might possibly still like this story. So I want to try to rewrite it. It might not work. Also, any and all newly rehabilitated chapters will come, but very slowly. Like any great adventure, it deserves a second performance (Too much? I'll try not to do a lot of 'that's what she said...' jokes. **_**Try**_** being the important word). **_

_**Anyways. So here is the first BRAND NEW CHAPTER THAT STILL LOOKS A LOT LIKE THE OLD ONE for your entertainment. Enjoy. If any of my reviewers are there left to enjoy.**_

_**I disclaim. The title and excerpt is from **_**Pressure_ by _The Company of Thieves._ We're gonna do things right this time._**

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**I try hard to answer all the questions that you've posed**  
**Tell me now how should I care, I feel so alone and so unloved?**

**And the pressure is rising, I mean it, it's binding**  
**I've been compromisng for you.**  
**The pressure is rising, I mean it, it's binding**  
**I've been compromising for you.**

As the inmates of Arkham slept, one man sat upon his dingy bed, staring into the darkness. His sing-song voice echoed off of the empty walls as he twisted a rhyme. He reveled in the loneliness.

"Jac_k_ and Jill lived over in Gotham, she liked to _gamble_ a lot."

He paused, licking his contorted lips.

"Jill lost _loot_... they scared her _beauty_... and _I _came _right_ in behind her."

A small whimper of a laugh escaped his wide lips, growing until it was an insane yapping, resembling that of a hyaena. As if he had told the world's funniest joke. As if this little part of his life was hilarious. Because it was. Because his whole life... was a joke. And if he didn't laugh at it, who would?

He stood up as his laughter subsided into a soft chuckling, still belying the madness it once was. Cocking his head at the door, he walked closer to it. There was a shadow lying just beyond its bars. He was a few feet away from it when the soft voice came.

"Did you love her?"

The man examined the steel door, as he would a person. "_That_ doesn't par-ticularly _matter_, does it?"

"So you did."

"_Jack_ did."

"Where is she now?"

"Hopefully dead."

"Do you mean that?"

"Can I _help_ you with something?" the man asked, growing a bit impatient.

"No." answered the voice, airily.

The man lifted his brows above his dark eyes. "You sound like a _girl_. What's a sweet thing like you doing in _big, bad_ Ark-ham?"

"Just visiting." the voice said, after taking a moment to consider the question.

"Anyone I_ know_?"

"I wouldn't think so. It was the mob, wasn't it?" the voice asked, apparently tired of answering his questions.

As the man stepped closer to try and peer through the bars of the door, he answered. "She liked to _tangle_ with the wrong _people_."

"Do you put yourself under that category?"

"Predominately put _there_ by _society_." The man huffed after several failed attempts at seeing more of the hallway. "Why don't you come out where I can see your _pretty_ face?" He smiled, scars stretching.

"Some other time."

"Oh, ho ho. So you're planning on _repeating_ this outing?" said the man as he leaned against the side of the door, tapping it with his knuckle. "_One_ might think you were _after_ something."

"I just wanted to see with my own eyes, Jack." The voice sounded confounded with her own behavior.

"_That's_, uh, _not- my name._"

There was the briefest of pauses. "Is it a bad name? Does it bring back too many memories?" she asked, curiously.

He was quiet. There was no movement on either side of the door as the silence shifted through the night. After a good minute, the man asked a question.

"If _you_ know what to call _me_, what do _I_ call _you_?"

It was the voice's turn to fall into a contemplative silence. Finally, she said "Alice."

"Well, then, _Alice_. What did you come to see?"

"You."

"Ooo, I'm flattered."

"I wouldn't exactly take that as a compliment. It's less like an admiring fan, and more like a kid at the zoo come to see the tiger."

The man began to laugh at that, bending slightly at the waist. "The _bunny's_ got _claws_!" The man jammed his grinning face against the bars of the door, his black eyes glinting in the dull light. There was the sound of footfalls retreating to a safe distance. "Careful, though. The tiger's got some, too."

The was a strained silence as the man stared fiercely toward the darkest shadows of the hallway.

"Bunny?" he called, sounding confused. "Where'd ya go? Is it something I said? Is it the _name_? It's not an insult, or anything, _really_! It's _just _seems to _fit_ you, bunny."

Finally, the voice spoke after another quick pause. She asked, slowly, "Do you like it here?"

"Oh, it's _lovely_. The guards just _adore_ me. They're great guys. I tell them jokes and they show me pictures of their families. I get _loads_ of personal time, too. They're exceptionally good about leaving a guy time to sit and think, you know? I've gone days without seeing another person. I mean, it's really a neat place. And it even came _furnished_!" His voice bounced around him as the man waved toward the cold cell. Turning back to the newcomer, he licked his lips reflectively. "Why so _curious_, bunny?"

The voice sighed. "I'm not sure I want to say."

He raised his brows expectantly. "Well?"

"But I was always a bit intrigued with what you did out there."

His lips twitched upward at this. "_Really_? What was so in-tri-guing?" he asked.

"All of it."

"Well, I'm _pleased_ to know that my audience was well _satisfied_." Stepping back, he gave the door a large, sweeping bow, his dirty, blond hair flopping in front of his face.

There was a short, soft chuckle from the other side. He decided he liked it. Straightening up, he looked at the door as she spoke. "I've got to go; the next guard switch is in a few minutes. But if I were you, I might expect another midnight visit."

He nodded his head.

"Good bye." she called.

As the muffled footsteps got fainter and fainter, the man stared at the metal door before backing up to sit on his bed. He spread himself out to stare up at the ceiling. A small giggle escaped his wide grin. This was going to be fun.

The night outside carried on into the dawn as the Joker counted the branching cracks in his cell.

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**_A/N: So please review. They make me happy. Also, just wanted to say... I know. While the title makes sense being with the chapter, the actually excerpt... kinda doesn't. But for nostalgia's sake, I'm keeping the titles the same. So sue me._**

**_No, actually, wait, don't._**


	2. The Pressure is Rising

_**Yeah, I wrote another one. It's addictive, though! I hope you guys like this one as much as the last. Oh, and please beware that I don't have any plans for this. If I lose interest I might drop it. Enjoy!**_

_**I Disclaim.**_

* * *

Two voices ricocheted off of each other, swirling around in the air, as their owners sit on opposite sides of a door. One is an in-mate. One is not. The hall is very dirty, a mixture of colors of filth cover the floor. Most brown, some red. Yet still the girl of the soft voice sits on the degrading doorstep, talking to a proven insane man. Her melodious speech flowing through the air, playing catch with another voice. A man's.

"But didn't you plan it? How did you know that they would use the ferries?" her silken voice half-whispered.

"Those _amoral politi_**co** are _soo_ predicta_ble_. They wouldn't be _stupid_ enough to allow people to take the _tun_nel or the _bri_**dge**, **but** they don't want to cause a _pani_**c**." the Joker spoke through the bars to her. He stared up at them from his relaxed pose on the grimy cement floor. He leaned back and spread his legs out in front of him, crossing them. "_So_, they need to get as many as they _can_ _ou_**t**. And there's only _one way left_, without the bri_dge_. Which means, all those _with means_, get a _ri_**de**. Then there are Dent's _mis_cre_ants_. Even if there _were_ enough room for more of the, ah, _tax_paye_rs_, they wouldn't want to ri_sk_ _losing_ any of their _precious live_**s**. So, one boat for the _cons_, one for the loyal, _law a_**bid**_ing_ citizens of _Goth_am, and there you have the makings of a _great show_. " He ended slowly, speaking each word with care.

"You almost completely destroyed the city... without ever actually coming up with a strategy." It wasn't a question. "Either the world is filled with more idiots than I thought, or you're just one lucky S.O.B."

"The first._ Lu_**ck **has _nothing_ to do with it."

Her tittering laugh sent a little shiver spidering up his spine. "When are you getting out of here?"

His permanent grin widened further. She knew him too well, already. "_Oh_, I think I can take a _brief_ vaca_tio_**n**. A felon needs _his_ rest, _too_, you know. Besides, _how_ could I leave my _favor_**ite** _bun_ny behind?"

"You wouldn't have to." she suggested, a bit tentatively, "I could come with."

There was a quick pause. "Now, _why_ would you want to do _tha_**t**?"

"Why not?"

The Joker slowly stood up and walked to the door. His face was mere inches from the cold, metal bars when he spoke, his voice almost serious. "_Would_ you?"

"Would I?" she asked back. He heard a few muffled movements. She was standing up.

"You _know_," he began, spurred on by a need to know her better. "to be a _good _villain, you need the fa_ce_ for i**t**. If you want to join my _te-am_, I'm going have to see _if you make the cu_**t**."

He stifled laughter, at her over-exasperated sigh. "You've asked me every single time I've come so far-"

"-and _every single time_ you've de_clined_." he finished for her.

"But, I suppose, if it's really necessary, I'll have to, won't I?" she tittered.

"Oh, I'd _never_ force you to do any_thing_ you didn't _want_ to, Alice." His whispered sarcasm was nearly lost in the clicking and grinding coming from the door. Apparently, she had the key. With one last, large, clunk, the door swung open, the dust swirling in the low light. The Joker squinted through the darkness to see better, listening for any sound.

"So? Do I have the job or not?" At that, a very thin, very small, very fragile girl with long black hair, stepped into his cell. The Joker's two black orbs met Alice's piercing blue ones.

He took on a contemplative look as he circled her, looking to see if she shied away from him at all. She didn't, not that he'd really expected her to. Coming around to stand in front of her again, he took her chin in his hand, turning it left and right, examining the smudged dirt that dusted her pale skin. He noticed a tiny scar below her hairline and numerous others up and down her arms. Most were little things, but there was one on her right hand that ran all the way from her middle knuckle, up her arm, and disappeared into the sleeve of her shirt. The Joker's hands gravitated to it.

"Now, where'd ya get _this_ look_er_?" His warm hands danced back and forth across her scar. She watched his face as he examined her old injury.

"In an accident." His eyes flicked up to her face.

"The _othe_**rs**?" he purred.

"Life on the down and out will do that to you." They stood staring at each other for a moment, each waiting for the other to pull away. But neither did.

Finally, the Joker let go of her arm and clapped his hands. "Alice, my _dear_, I do believe you have the _per_fect face for _unlawful acts_." His grin widened as she smiled, too.

"Welcome to the _team_."

* * *

_ One Month Later_

He waited. She would be here soon, then it would only be a matter of time. His foot tapped with anticipation. He wished he had a watch so he could check it, instead he settled for twiddling his thumbs. Leaning back on the cot, the Joker stared up at the ceiling and wet his lips. He would never admit it, but he was a a bit worried that his little bunny had gotten in trouble. She wasn't all that strong, for all her intellect, and a man could easily over power her. Finally, he heard approaching footsteps and his eyes snapped to the door. The footfalls skidded to a stop in front of the entrance and he could overhear the jingling of keys and whispered mutterings. The door creaked open and in stepped Alice, carrying a heap of clothing in her arms. She winked at him and laid the fabric out on the bed.

"I thought you might like a change of wardrobe before we left." She smiled a knowing smile and held up a deep, dusty purple trench coat. The Joker's eyes seemed to crackle with delight as he reached out to take the overcoat from her. "I thought you might." She turned around to give him some privacy.

"Where'd you find them?" he asked as he looked for the pants of the outfit.

She chuckled. "You would think that they'd throw stuff away after four or five months. I found them locked up in a cabinet in some storage room. They don't have very good security here."

"For _that_, my dear bunny, I will be for_ever_ thankful."

He finished dressing, pulling the coat on to top it all off. Rolling his shoulders, the Joker put on his leather gloves. It felt so good to be out of that damned jumpsuit. Orange just wasn't his color. He tapped Alice, holding his arms out expectantly.

"Ta da!" he said, smiling charmingly.

"You clean up well." she said as she turned around. Reaching into her coat's large pockets, she brought out a plastic bag and a small, hand-held mirror. She held them out for the Joker to take them, still smiling. "But I don't think you're done yet."

He curiously took the bag, reaching in and pulling out a packet of make up. With all the old familiar colors. Over the months, though he tried his best not to smudge it too much, the Joker's war paint had slowly flaked off and rubbed away. His hair, still holding some moldy green in it's blonde strands, had long ago forgotten the feel of a spray-can puffing through it. He was delighted.

As he fumbled with the mirror and cosmetics, Alice walked over to the bed to sit down. She was tempted to close her eyes and sleep, but that would cost them time. She hadn't slept much lately, busy trying to get everything ready. The Joker may not like to make plans, but she needed the reassurance that things were going to go alright. She sighed contentedly. How did she get here? It was only a year ago since Nana had died. How had she gotten from there to here? She looked up at the sound of the Joker clearing his throat. He was holding up the spray-can, wiggling it in the air. His make-up was finished and Alice momentarily lost her breath. The two dark coals, that were his eyes, were now surrounded by twin black circles, causing goose-bumps to form on her arms. She swallowed discreetly.

"Need help?" she asked, standing up.

Nodding his head, he threw the can to her. "Make it goo_d_."

He turned and kneeled down. He was about 6 feet and she was only around 5' 2". It didn't take a genius to figure out if she could reach his head. She began to spray, trying her best to make sure that it didn't get on his coat. "You probably should have done this first. Your coat's going to get some on it."

"If I had done it _firs_**t**, then I would have _ended u_**p** getting on my shirt. It doesn't mat_ter_." He waved his hand as she finished. He stood up and looked in the mirror. She had done good. Pretending to not be smirking, he turned to look at her, holding up a swab of black make-up. "Your turn."

She backed up. "That's alright. Even without the make-up, they won't be able to figure out who I am. To them, I don't exist."

"Oh, and _why's tha_**t**?" he asked, continuing forward as she continued to back up.

"I wasn't born in any hospital. I've never had a social security number. I've never had a job that called for any identification of any kind." Her knees hit the bed and she abruptly sat down. The Joker continued towards her, staring intently. This was sounding eerily familiar. "The only family I had, wasn't really family, and she's dead. There's no way for anyone to find out my name unless I give it to them. And I don't do that often."

He was in front of her now, bending down to look her in the face. "I'm _honore_**d**." he muttered as he reached his hands up.

Alice rolled her eyes and said "What was the point of you examining my face to see if I was team worthy, if you're just going to cover it up?"

She was shocked, however, when she felt a warm hand on her cheek. She locked eyes with him, watching as his other hand reached up with the black make-up. She sighed and closed her eyes, waiting to feel the wetness of the paint on her eyelids. She didn't. Instead, she felt a cool line forming on her forehead. What was he doing? His hand was surprisingly gentle as he drew long swirls branching off of each other. It seemed like he was doing the same pattern on both sides of her temple. He moved to trail a swirl down just below her eye. Her breath caught for the second time that day. How was the Joker, this mass-murderer, able to be so placid?

As his soft caressed ceased, she opened her eyes to find two black pits staring directly into her blue pools. He smirked and held the mirror up in front of her face. So, that's what he had been painting. She pulled her hair back farther, cocking her head at what reminded her of the top half of a butterfly. It's wings twirled and swirled in delicate streamers, forming the shape of the two upper wings. She looked back up at the Joker.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention i_t_." He stood up, smiling wildly. Seemingly out of nowhere, he waved a gun. Alice didn't remember having put that with the clothes.

"Let's go say _'Hi'_, bunny."

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_**Please tell me what you guys think and whether I should continue it. Encouragement really helps these things get done. Thanks for reading. **_


	3. This Life is a Constant Hunger

_**Hey, all. I just want to say thanks for the reviews, their keeping me interested in this. Now, I want to say sorry for how much this chapter sucks (in my opinion). It's really kinda sucky, so I hope you all don't mind too much. I'm also willing to rewrite it if you guys have any helpful suggestions. We'll be meeting another well known character in this one, so Yipeeee! Enjoy!**_

_**I Disclaim.**_

* * *

"_Quiet_, isn't it?"

"It's the middle of the night." She rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't worry. Once we reach the entrance, there'll be plenty of noise."

"That's what I'm _hop_ing for." The Joker skipped a little as he strolled. His eyes flicked down to Alice, who was walking beside him. His height towered over her small frame and he found the difference quite comical. "Are you sure you can _keep up_?"

She looked up at him, giving him the closest thing to a glare she could. "I grew up in Gotham. On the streets. I'll be alright."

"Just _check_ing. Wouldn't want to have to come _save_ your ass."

"Heaven forbid."

He chuckled and began to hum a tune, it's strange melody ringing softly in the halls. Alice smirked up at him as she turned a corner. They were nearly there, just a one more corner. All in all, it hadn't taken Alice long to figure out the pattern of Arkham. The gray cement building was set-up with the same basic route on each floor. If you knew the course from one side to the other on one floor, you knew it on every floor. Though she had never been there, she suspected that it was the same for the basement. Besides, she was good at memorizing things.

As their footsteps tapped down the hallway, she slowed to a stop. That was the last turn, right in front of them. The moment they turned that corner, they would be able to see the security desk and a few main offices. And, whoever was there, would be able to see them. The two shared a glance, the Joker's smile getting wider and wider.

"_Time_ to say my _farewells_." He took off around the corner with Alice right next to him, both of them swinging their guns for all to see.

It didn't take long to get a reaction. The hall they walked down was wide and short, ending with a large, round room that held the entrance. The security desk was sitting to one side of the doors, in full view of any escapees or trespassers. Loud snoring could be heard from one of the men, his body lax in his chair with a drooping head. Another man could be seen sitting in front of, what was supposed to be, a television used for the few security cameras placed around the building, but, instead, the man was using it for more _personal_ matters. As Alice spotted the moaning man, her upper lip curled up somewhat. Couldn't he find somewhere else for his 'alone' time?

At the sound of shoes squeaking on the tiles, the man still awake, whipped his head around, toppling off his chair as he did. The Joker giggled, watching as the fallen man sputtered on the ground, efficiently waking up the other. The two scrambled for their guns, one still trying to do up his pants.

"Hell_o_, gen_tle_men." the Joker said.

The guards edged around their desk, aiming their guns at him with shaking hands.

"Stay where you are! Put your weapons down!" the chubby man, who had been sleeping, yelled, his voice shaking. "I said stay where you are!"

"How'd he get out?" the other asked his partner.

"I don't know. You're the one supposed to be watching the cameras! You were probably too busy jackin' off!"

"Hey, at least I fucking stay awake on my shift!"

The Joker sighed heavily, shooting Alice an exasperated glance. He turned back towards the guards, glancing down at the fat man's name tag. "Uh, _Phil_, is it?" He nodded his head. "We need to make an _ex_**tract**_ion_." He stepped closer, causing the other two men to protest. As he leaned forward, his smile grew. "The _extraction_ being _me_."

He struck. Jerking the wider man's gun to the right, the Joker brought his own gun to the man's face. Bone crunched and the man moaned in pain. Thoroughly stunned, the man fell and the Joker turned to the other, smiling wickedly.

"D-don't move!" the frightened man yelled, his gun still trained on the Joker, but his eyes locked on his partner's body.

"I wouldn't shoot, if I were you." The man's head snapped over to where Alice stood, her gun pointed at him. "You might end up on the ground with your friend."

With the guard distracted, the Joker easily stepped behind him, bringing the butt of his gun down, harshly, on his head. The man was knocked out.

Alice shook her head at the unconscious men. "I told you their security was terrible." The Joker idly kicked the chubby man, Phil, a little as he groaned and she reached into her pocket, bringing out a tube of lipstick. She handed it to the Joker.

"_Now _for the _'Thank you'_ no**te**." he muttered, opening the red make-up. He headed over to the wall above the security desk and grabbed one of the chairs to stand on. Snickering as he did it, he left a trail of red letters and signed the note with a flourish. He popped his lips as he corked the tube of lipstick.

"I think the Commissioner would have known who it was without the John Hancock." She shook her head, jokingly.

"You're just _jeal_ous because _I_ have more _style_ than you. I know how to _spruce things u_**p**."

They turned their backs on the guards, heading towards the exit. But they found it surprisingly blocked by a very shocked looking woman. Her mouth was opened in amazement along with her pure, blue eyes. She clutched a few tan folders to her chest, her knuckles turning white. Her blonde head shook in disbelief. The Joker smiled playfully at her and Alice saw recognition flash in his eyes.

"Harley, _Harley_, Harley _Quin_**n**. _Fan_cy meeting _you_ here." he drawled.

"You're... you're supposed to be in confinement." the blonde woman stated. "How did you get out of your cell?"

"I had a little _hel_**p** from _Bunny_ here. We were _just leav_ing, in fact." Motioning with his hand, the Joker stepped towards the door to the left of the woman. Alice followed behind him, casting a brief glance at the blonde. The Joker didn't seem to worried about her. She stayed where she had frozen, wide eyes staring at the floor. Just as they reached the door and the Joker's hand was above the handle, she turned, dropping the folders, and yelled after him.

"Can I come with?"

His hand twitched. Alice's eyes moved up to his calculating face. He looked back down at her, his mouth working furiously. She chose for him.

"Sure." Alice turned back to the new woman as she spoke, her eyes belying her hidden smile. "But I think you'll need a new name."

Harley Quinn nodded, enthusiastically. Alice glanced back at the Joker, shaking her head. What had he done to this poor woman. She bit back a laugh, allowing herself a small smile.

"Come." she called, inclining her head towards the exit. The blonde stared for a moment, then started forward at full speed. As she sprinted after the two retreating backs, she spared a glance at the writing on the wall. She sped past, leaving the bright red paint hanging silently.

_I MISSED YoU, GoTHAM. BUT NOW WE CAN GET BAcK To oUR GAME!!_

_-THE JoKER- _

_HAHEHEHAHoHoHAHEHEE..._

The door swung shut behind her with a soft thump. Sirens could be heard in the distance.

* * *

_**See? Really quiet blah. But we now have Harley, and I have a little plan starting to form in my mind. This is going to be fun. R&R please. Thanks for reading! ;)_**_


	4. Catty Smile

_**Yay, I wrote more. I hope you guys like it. It's definitely not the best out there. Also some clarification. The Joker didn't kill the two guards because he wanted them to be able to tell Gordan and everyone about him. Yes, he'll be in here, too, eventually (I think). And guys please, please, please, leave a review. I really need them to write this story. I'll just drop it if no ones reading it, and I don't want to do that. Well, Enjoy.**_

* * *

They drove. To where, only he and God knew, and the latter wasn't going to be much help. They had taken the new woman's car, a red convertible, and put the top up. As much as the Joker wanted the city to know he was back, even he didn't want them to find their 'hide-out' by recognizing him. The car ride was quiet, all of the passengers lost in their minds, some in more sense than one. When the car hit a bump in the road, it would send a jolt through the small vehicle, and cause the frame to rattle. The sound did nothing to the three's state.

They rounded a corner, and Alice became suddenly aware that they were in the Narrows. Home, Sweet, Horrible, Home. They drove through the streets, the Joker knowing each and every turn by heart, it seemed. The car finally slowed to a stop in front of a large, old theater, it's cracked billboard still displaying it's last play. _Love of the Dark_ it read. Alice had never heard of it, but the serendipity of the title made her smirk. The Joker had probably done that on purpose.

"Are you just going to leave it here?" the blonde woman, Harley, asked, staring indignantly at the Joker as they stepped out of the car headed for the theater.

The Joker paid her no mind. "Ye_p_."

"It would only attract attention, and at the moment, we want everything, but." Alice explained to the girl. "Hopefully someone will drive off with it."

Harley gave a little whine of despair at this, and stared longly at the vehicle.

"Have you thought of a name yet?" Alice asked.

Harley looked over at her, and Alice briefly saw a flash of something she had only ever seen in the Joker's eyes. It was chaotic.

"Harlequin." she answered, smugly.

"Hm, interesting." Alice nodded her head and started after the Joker. Whatever that man wanted with the girl, she would go along with it. This was getting _very_ intriguing.

"Um, what's your name?" the newly announced Harlequin asked, as she caught up with her.

Alice cocked her head to the side, gazing curiously at the younger woman. She seemed a bit flighty, definitely easily swayed, at least by the Joker, and her blue eyes gave off a very gullible look. If she was taken by the police and interrogated, she could be liable to tell them her name and the name of her accomplices. Including Alice. Well, she couldn't have that.

"Just call me the Red Queen for now."

They continued to follow the Joker. He stood in front of a backstage door at the side of the building, holding it open for the two ladies. Nodding his head when Harley passed, he caught Alice's eye. He was enjoying this. She could tell by the way his eyes flashed with mirth. He let the door swing shut behind him as he walked further into the room. He came up behind Alice and whispered in her ear.

"The _Re_**d**_ Queen_?" he hissed.

"I told you, I only give my name to certain people. She doesn't come across as my criteria of 'certain'."

"Well, your _Majesty_," He stopped her, grabbing her arm lightly. "I hope to _always stay_ in that _special_ place in your _criter_ia." His hand slipped down to hers, and his eyes twinkled with mischief as he brought it to his mouth, planting a moist kiss. She felt his scars tickle her skin. He snickered, dropping her hand and zipping off into the dark. Her violated limb tingled as she reached it up to soothe her pounding heart. That man was, for lack of a better word, incorrigible.

There was an abrupt moment when bright lights came on, causing her to flinch. She glanced over in the direction that she had seen the Joker go and spotted him near a large light switch board. He grinned at her.

"_What_ do your think of our _new abo_**de**?" he asked waving widely.

Now, with the lights on, Alice could see that she was standing on a stage, it's pale wood gleaming into the stands. If any actor had been on the dais, there was no doubt that, instead of seeing the faces of the audience, they would have been met with the glaring floor and balcony lights. Almost as if the mechanisms were trying to block out the very thought of there being someone watching the performers.

The large arch above the stage was painted a faded golden color, that must have once shined as brightly as the floor. The archway was either molded or carved in an intricate pattern, some of the details being so minute, that they could barely be seen from the stage. Following along the outline of the ceiling, the strange design sustained it's twisting and curving, morphing into a few animal shapes along the way. However, it was the ceiling itself that attracted Alice's attention. It's wide, midnight blue cloth stretching from one end of the span to the other with numerous twinkling lights winking down at her. It was captivating.

"It's wonderful." she breathed craning her neck to get a better look. "Beautiful."

The Joker watched her, a small (compared to his previous) grin gracing his scarred lips. "Yes, _it i_**s**." His tongue snaked out for a quick moment.

She glanced at him, her eyes betraying some unknown emotion. Before he could find out what it was, she looked away. "Where's Harley?"

"She's scoping _out_ a sui_te_. You'll have to _find one_, _too_, you know."

Finally meeting his eyes again, her blue lights impassive, Alice nodded her head. "Can you show me the way?"

His grin now fully faded, the Joker searched her face for that hidden feeling he had seen. Finding nothing, he grunted in response to her question, turning and heading off stage. Her soft footsteps could be heard behind him, having to walk faster to keep up with his long legs. Sometimes he forgot how small she was, how breakable she looked. She radiated so much self-control, never seeming afraid of him. To curious for that, he supposed. When she had first started visiting him in Arkham, she had asked so many questions, trying to figure out who the Joker really was. Though she would probably never understand him completely, hell, _he_ didn't understand himself completely, she tried her best to. She was as close as anyone was going to get to understanding him.

He exited the wings of the stage and walked deeper into the backstage. It was dark back there, how Harley had managed to find her way without the lights was a mystery, and he heard Alice hesitate at the threshold. Now that was curious. He reached out and grabbed her hand, causing her to jump a little. The Joker raised his eyebrows and pulled her closer so that she was right next to him. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he showed her the way to the rooms, his feet knowing the way by heart. With his eyes adjusting to the darkness, he could just make out the top of her head, right below his chin. Her black hair blended in with the shadows. She smelled sweet, like raspberry or something.

They reached the personal quarters much too soon for his taste, and he considered the option of walking past them. Alice, unfortunately, pulled away from his arm and opened the first door. Following her in, the Joker growled under his breath, his eyes never leaving her small frame as she flicked on the lights. She wouldn't like this room, he knew. It was too bland, the walls being a pale beige. There was no character. The Joker didn't know why he hadn't given the whole room a make-over. She shook her head.

"Have any suggestions?" she asked as she turned back to him.

Mocking a thoughtful stance, after a moment he gave a short 'Ah ha!' and grabbed her arm. He dragged her past door after door, stopping directly in front of the last one in the row. The door was painted a deep purple. As he stepped forward and threw it open, he kept the tight hold on her arm. It hit her immediately that it was his room. The walls were purple, the trim green, the purple bed had green sheets. If she hadn't just been in that beige room, Alice might have thought that those two colors were the only ones left in the whole world.

"Whaddya _think_?" the Joker asked after pulling her into the room. He let go of her and went to shut the door.

"It's very colorful. Nice theme." She looked over at him. "But I'm not sharing a room with you."

"What, doesn't _her Maj_esty _want_ to spend time with her favorite _jes_**ter**?"

"Not in the same bed, she doesn't." He stared at her with black pits as he pushed himself off of the door.

"What about on the _floor_?" He loomed over. Staring intently as he walked around her, his eyes seemed to bore into her skull.

"That too." She rolled her eyes, but when she started for the door, he snatched her arm, pulling her to him. She felt her heart beat compete with his.

"Let me go, Jack."

"_Now_, didn't I say _not_ to call me _tha_**t**?" He began to walk forwards, backing her into the wall. She just stared up at him, her eyes determined not to back down.

"You _know_," he drawled, dangerously. "I've, uh, _note-_iced recently, that you don't seem to _fully_ understand _who I am_." He tilted his head. "Maybe I should _remind_ you."

"I know exactly who you are, don't you dare try and bring that knife out."

"_Aw_, she just wants to say '_Hi_', Bunny. _Don't_ you, lovely?" he asked his knife, bringing it out of his pocket and flicking it open. His eyes snapped back to Alice. "She says _yes_."

"Why is it a she?"

"Oh, I didn't tell you how I got my lovely here?" She shook her head.

"Well, you _see_," He brought his knife close to her face, waving it lightly in the air. "it was my birthday. And _mommy and daddy_ couldn't afford any presents. Mommy just wanted me to have a _good birthday_, **so** she went to the bank and got her savings to buy me a _brand new pocket knif_**e** with silver and _pretty_ things on it." His voice grew low. "_Daddy found out_. He didn't want Mommy spending _all tha_**t **on _just some kid_. He _wanted her_ to spend it on _him_. So, Daddy got **mad**. And _then_, Daddy got _drun_**k**. Daddy _wasn't very nice_ when he was drunk. When he got home _he yelled_ for Mommy and she came running. He killed her with my _knife_. _Then he saw _**me**. The kid who _started_ it all. He wanted me to _always remember_ my birthday, so he _placed_ the knife _in_ my mouth and gave me a **smile**." Alice felt an involuntary shiver snake up her back. "And I've had it _ever since_!"

The Joker broke into to yelps of laughter at this, letting her go and bending over to hold his ribs. She waited for him to finish. As he stood back up, still chuckling and wiping a tear from his face, he twirled his knife in his hand.

"I decided it would be a _nice gesture_ to name her after _Mommy dearest_."

Her blue eyes pierced him. "Do you even remember?"

The question took him by surprise and he looked at her quizzically. "Ex_cuse_ me?"

"Do you even really remember how you got them?"

He understood that. She watched his face become impassive, never guessing the horrible things going through his mind. The horrible things he had experienced. Thoughts of red sped through his mind's eye. Suddenly, his face split into a wide grin.

"No**pe**."

* * *

_**Kind of a weird ending. Well, I didn't screw him up too much did I? He's so hard to write for me sometimes. Um, yeah, sorry to all those who hate Harley. I just felt the spur of the moment need to stick to the comic book a little (Not that I've ever actually **__**read**__** it, but...)I plan on making her more likable, but still including most of those annoying traits. Hopefully I'll be able to pull it off. Thanks for reading. Please R&R!**_


	5. Graced All The Papers

_**Well, that was fast. I didn't mean for this next chapter to be out so quick, but here it is, anyways. We get more characters! Yay! I hope I did alright with this, I don't really know how either of these situations work, but I think I did wrote it right. Such is the life of a 15 year old. Enjoy.**_

* * *

Thunder drummed. Camera's flashed, their bright glow small, compared to the blaze of lightening overhead. The rain pelted down around the group of reporters. They stood outside a building for the condemned, eyes phasing over the sign. It read: Arkham. A volley of shouts fell through the air, seeping through the raindrops, as the Commissioner stepped through the crowd and into the doors of the Asylum.

"I want to know what happened, who was on watch, and how the hell he got out!" he stormed, gaining submissive glances. Gordan ran a hand through his damp hair, his eye catching red. He had left them a message. Oh, joy.

"Commissioner!" called a young detective.

"What is it, Rodney?"

"Sir, this is one of the men that were on duty at the time, Charles Johnson." He motioned to a man sitting down, holding a ice-pack to the back of his head and looking up at Gordan, somewhat sheepishly. "His partner, Phil Brown, is in the hospital with facial injuries."

"Mr. Johnson, I'm Commissioner James Gordan. Can you tell me what happen?"

"The, uh, the Joker just came-came walking down the hallway, like he didn't have a care in the world. Me and Phil saw 'em and tried to stop him once he got to the entrance-"

"Didn't you see him on the security cameras?"

"Well, uh, no, actually. Phil was on duty while I was, uh, busy with official paper... work."

The Commissioner sighed. "What happen when you tried to apprehend him?"

"He surprised Phil, and got him with his gun in the face. I tried to calm him down, but this chick came up behind me. She distracted me and, the next thing I know, I'm on the ground."

"A woman? What did she look like?"

"She was pretty short, really tiny period, and she had long black hair with these bright blue eyes." The man paused, mumbling to himself. "Felt like she was looking right into my soul."

"Alright, thank you for your time, Mr. Johnson. We'll have a officer come around to get a statement from you." He nodded his head to the guard and took Detective Rodney's shoulder. Pulling him away, he spoke in a softer tone. "Check out the security cameras. Make sure we know exactly how, when, everything. As soon as the other wakes up, I want to hear his side of the story, too."

"Sure thing, Commissioner."

As Gordan dismissed the man, watching him walk away, the red streak of letters caught his eye. That damned message. Damn him. Damn the guards. Damn that woman! Damn, damn, damn! He sighed heavily. What were they going to do? What was Gotham going to do?

What was he going to do?

* * *

What was she going to do? She let her head fall and hit the steering wheel. Was this karma? Was it because she didn't call her mother back? Why today, of all days, did her stupid car have to quit on her? She knew it was old and just waiting to die, but couldn't it have waited at least until tomorrow? She thumped her head on the wheel before sitting up straight and trying to start it again. It eased into life.

"Yes!" she yelled to the heavens.

She put the car in gear and sped off through the rain. When her tires spun on the wet road, she slowed her pace, but still went faster than most of the other drivers. She glanced at the clock; 9:15. She was going to make it. She let loose a deep breath when her car entered the parking lot, pulling into a space. Jumping out of her car, she ran into the building, sprinting past various people holding papers, some shouting at each other. She skidded up to a desk with a woman sitting behind it, panting for breath.

"Is Mr. Hopkins in?" she asked, breathily.

"You sure made it here in the nick of time. Yeah, sure, go right in."

"Thanks." she breathed, nodding her head. As she reached for the handle of the door to the left of the woman, her hand hesitated. She closed her eyes and took a breath. She could do this. Straightening herself out, she cleared her throat and opened the door.

"Juniper! Don't you know how to knock?" She winced. She should have expected that.

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry, I'll do that next time." she spoke to the gray-haired man who was sitting on the side of his desk.

"Good. Where are those pictures?" he said, talking down his long, square nose.

"Right here, sir." She held up a green folder.

Hopkins made a 'Give me' sign with his fingers and she handed them over. As he flicked through the pictures, she watched his face. She didn't see anything that didn't belong. Just the normal disgruntled look. Was she in the clear?

He looked up. "Why are you still here? I thought I said get out. Talk to Martha about the price." he finished as he stepped around the desk to sit down. Nodding her head and mumbling a reply, she stepped out of the room.

Stepping up to the woman behind the desk again, she smiled a smugly. "I'll take that check now, Martha."

The woman grinned along with her. "Good job, Theresa. You're slowly making it up there to the top." They discussed the price based on what Hopkins wanted to give her and what she actually deserved, and got somewhere in the middle. "See ya, Tee."

"Bye, Martha." Theresa called over her shoulder. Just as she was about to make out of he building, Hopkins' door slammed open.

"Juniper! Where do you think you're going? You're not off work yet!"

"What?" She blinked, turning around. Did he mean...?

"I said get back to work." he pointed to an empty desk off to the side of the room. Looking at her like he thought she was a complete idiot, he slammed the door shut.

Had she just been hired full time?

"Juniper!" His door swung open again. "Get in here!" He held the door open.

Once she was inside, thoroughly dazed, he let the door bang shut. He sat down in his chair with a huff, crossing his legs.

"New job for you. Bruce Wayne's fixed up manor. Make 'em good."

* * *

_**OK, a few things. I got the theater idea from AlexaJ **____**and her fan-freakin-tastic story, but I based the actual design off of a local theater here in my home town. It's got this awesome ceiling that looks like the night sky, complete with stars. Also to note, the Joker didn't kill the two guards because he wanted them to tell Gotham about him. Plus I just didn't think to write that at the time cuz I suck at action sequences. And, if anyone's wondering, I based Hopkins off of the chief News-reporter guy in Spiderman. You know the one with the really bad attitude and the funny mustache? Him. Well, I hope you liked it. PLEASE DROP A REVIEEEEW. Thank you.**_


	6. Creep up on me kinda like a nightmare

_**Hello all, sorry it's been so long. It took me a while to write this and then I kept forgetting to upload it. Well, anyways, we learn some wanted information and see some awaited confrontations. At least in my opinion. I hope I got the characters right. Enjoy!**  
_

* * *

Dinah. The word whispered past her lips, red flashing before her eyes. Where was Dinah? There was a heavy odor wafting around the dark hallway. What was that stench? She followed the horrid smell down the long hall. Stopping in front of the last door, she almost gagged on the reek. It was _that_ _man's _room.

Dinah, where are you?

As the door creaked open, she brought a hand to her mouth, trying to hold down the vomit. What _was_ that smell? She hesitated at the threshold.

Are you here, Dinah?

Her eyes opened wide and she ran into the room. She realized, abruptly, that it was dark. _Very_ dark. Where was Dinah? She could feel something wet and sticky underneath her bare feet. Maybe it _was_ her feet. She struggle for breath. Something was wrong. She took a step forward, bumping into an object. Bending down slightly, she found it soft, like a blanket. The bed. She followed the side of the furniture, finding a large lump under the blanket.

Dinah?

Reaching up, she pulled it off. A dark outline was revealed.

Dinah!

She bent down to wake her sister, when she became conscious that the smell was very strong there. Why was Dinah so cold? Suddenly the air felt too thick. She choked on her breath. The darkness latched on to her, holding her in a vice-like grip. No, it wasn't the darkness, it was Dinah, pulling her down into her cold, dead eyes. Dinah was the darkness.

She screamed.

And looked around, fist clenched tight enough to make sharp indents in her skin. Sweat glistened on her skin as she swallowed the air in mouthfuls. Damn those night terrors. Alice fell back down on her bed, trying to control her heart. The room was too dark. Throwing the hot covers back, she headed out the door for some water. She entered the room the Joker deemed appropriate for the kitchen, and poured herself a glass of water. The ice cubes clicked and cracked. After she downed the cold drink, she leaned against the counter, trying to dispel her thoughts.

That had been one of the worse ones. They usually weren't that bad; it must have been from all the stress. Her head snapped up at the sound of a hissed chuckle.

"_Aw_, did the little _bunny_ have a _night_mare?" the Joker asked as he leaned against the threshold, his arms crossed. She couldn't see his face in the light darkness, but she knew he was smiling. They hadn't spoken to each other since the little incident in his bedroom. His cheek had to have been pretty red after her slap, but from the way he was smiling, she would've never guessed that it hurt. He had only grinned wider when she had picked the room next to his.

"Did I wake you up?" she asked.

"I wasn't sleeping."

"What about Harley?"

He laughed. "I don't think _Bat-boy_ could wake _her_ u_p_." He tilted his head. "What was the, uh, _nigh_**t**mare abou_t_?"

Closing her eyes, Alice brought her hand up to massage the bridge of her nose. She really didn't want to tell him. She didn't know what he would do with the information. And that scared her a little. "I don't know. I can't remember."

"Ah, ah, _ah_," He wagged his finger. "Now, tell the _truth_, bunny."

"It's just a memory from when I was a kid." She sighed.

"Oh, **really**? What was so _scar_ing?"

"It wasn't..." She paused, taking a deep breath. No point in delaying the inevitable.

"I found my older sister dead."

He perked up at this. "_Killed_?"

"Yes."

"What, ah, what _happene_**d**?" he asked as he stepped forward. Of course he was interested in this.

"Do I really have to go into detail?" He nodded his head, continuing towards her. She sighed again. "She was raped by my mother's husband. I found the body. He'd killed her in the process. Maybe after, in a frenzy. It would be an understatement to say I was upset. I was crazed. I didn't think. Somehow I knew, I _knew_ that bastard had something to do with it."

"Whatcha _do_?" He was listening intently now, standing a few feet away from her. She seemed to wake up from a daze, shaking her head.

"I killed him. I killed them both, my mother and her husband. I burned the house down. I got the scar on my arm somewhere along the way, from some broken glass, I think."

"How _ol_**d** were you?"

She looked up. Only he would ask that. "I was ten. Dinah was sixteen."

"So, after _that_, you ran a_way_?" She nodded. "To _where_?"

"I lived in the Narrows to begin with, but it wasn't like that helped me any, I was still oblivious to the ways of the world. I ran through the streets for a while, having enough sense to stay away from dark places. Somewhere along the way I finally collapsed from exhaustion. Last thing I remember that night was the cold pavement on my face and my bleeding arm burning.

"I woke up about a day later, an old woman nursing me. I got better, but didn't leave; I liked her. She never told me her name. All the years I knew her, she never once said it, so I called her Nana. She died about five or so months before you showed up."

He shook his head. "Tch and here I thought letting _me_ out was the_ first_ mis_con_duct you'd ever committed. Any _others_ I should know _abou_**t**, your Majesty?" he asked, sounding every bit the disappointed father.

"None that I'd tell you about." she answered, sarcastically. "If I did, I'd have to kill you, too."

He laughed. "You _really_ think you _could_?" He leaned in close to her face. "Cause I _just don't see it_."

"You have no idea what I'm capable of, Jack." Her hot breath licked his scars.

He pressed her against the counter. It happened so fast, she didn't know it was ensuing at first. His hands gripped hers, forcing them down on the counter as his mouth attacked hers. She fought back and soon she tasted blood. Their tongues and lips meshed and collided with each other. She freed her hands and brought them up to clutch his shirt, pulling him closer. His hands found her waist and slowly started to inch their way up her shirt. Their persons clashed with a mixture of want and pride, each trying to be the winner of their internal battles. Alice lost her breath and broke away, breathing heavily and staring into his eyes. The two dark pools of lust made her smirk. It was short lived.

"Puddin', you in there?" came a voice from the hallway. Harley?

_Pudding?_

The Joker rolled his eyes, growling under his breath. He turned around and stepped away from her. As he walked towards the door, Alice watching him curiously, her eyes opened wide as Harley stepped into the room and latched onto the Joker's arm. She was barely wearing a shirt, it's side slowly falling off her shoulder.

"Where were you, Puddin'? I woke up and you were gone! I got worried." she whined.

Harley didn't notice Alice as she chatted away, animatedly, to the Joker about how worried she'd been. He didn't answer her. He passed a quick glance at Alice, who was still leaning against the counter, her dented dignity only concealed by the darkness. There didn't need to be light for her to know he was smirking, laughing at her for losing her head. Harley pulled him out of the room and Alice wondered absently if she ever shut up. She hadn't been that talkative before. But then that was it, wasn't it? Harley hadn't been sure of where she stood with the Joker, whether it was just for his eyes, or for his bed. A strange sensation welled up in Alice's throat. She had not wanted this to happen. Him kissing her. Her kissing back. This damn feeling.

When had that started? She wanted him. Alice wanted the Joker. That hadn't been a part of the plan.

* * *

_**TA DA! Yeah, please tell me how I did. I need to know. With a passion. And two things. The first being: It wasn't AlexJ that had the story with the theater, it was Imogen Kain! I feel like such a dope for the mistake, sorry to both! Now, remember in the first movie Bruce's parents died after they left the theater? Yeah, same theater. I put what I thought the title of the play might have been, too. That's it. Sorry again to you two! R&R, please.**_


	7. That Makes it All Your Fault

_**Alright, hey there. Sorry it took me forever to spit this out. I've been having a hard time getting interested. Thank you to all that have reviewed so far and everyone else, thank you for reading. I'd really appreciate, however, *hint hint* if you would leave a review. Please guys, it keeps me interested. And by the way, sorry for misspelling Gordon's name before. I'm a ditz at times. Enjoy!**_

_**I DISCLAIM everything, including the title, except for Alice, Theresa, and anyone else that isn't in the movie or comic. There, happy?**_

* * *

She was avoiding him. Damn it, why was she doing this? She had never avoided a situation before in her life, let alone a man. Why was she doing it now? Because it wasn't any ordinary man. Because it was the Joker, and he woke something up within her. Something she hadn't felt for years, not since her sister had died. But why did he have to kiss her? She had never felt the urge to touch him in that way, but now she found herself fighting a new desire. She didn't like it. That was why she was avoiding him. She would not be subject to to him. To his needs, no, wants. He didn't need her. He didn't need anybody. Anything he did was for the fun of it. To get a reaction. Well, he wouldn't get one from her. She knew him too well. Mostly. Aside from the fact that he had kissed her. She hadn't expected that, hadn't planned that. But hadn't he said so many times, that he liked to show people who planned, the schemers, how ridiculous there attempts were? It was her turn, apparently.

She sighed from her seat next to the kitchen table. It had been a day since the night he, _they_, kissed. She didn't know how much longer she could hold out. She could only avoid the Joker for so long. Snapping out of her thoughts, Alice looked up at the clock. She should make dinner soon. Harley couldn't cook worth a damn and she was a little reluctant to let the Joker near the oven, so that left her with the job of cooking. Letting out another heavy sigh, she got up to search for something to make. She chose spaghetti. As she started to boil water, she found her mind drifting back to the man of the hour.

He was just so strange, so different. She'd never seen anyone like him. Ever. Alice knew people. She knew them very well, knew what to expect from them. She knew that they would eat each other alive, if put in a pressing situation. That if a father had to choose between his old frumpy wife and a gorgeous playboy bunny, he would pick the bunny. That a sister would rather hurt her little sibling than look bad in front of her friends. That people were just in it for the money. That there wasn't one incorruptible cop in the city. Alice knew all of this. She got how people worked, but the Joker wasn't like other people. He was unpredictable, unlike anyone Alice had ever known. She had met crafty people, smart people. The Joker was on a whole other level. All the others built plans, the Joker tore those down with a twitch of his thumb. The press of a button.

The water was boiling, so she turned it down and poured the noodles in, getting out another pot for the sauce. She should have made the noodles last, the sauce would take longer. She was getting distracted and this was getting tiring. She needed to stop thinking about him. That horribly intriguing man. She tried to focus on cooking, and she succeeded, for a few moments. A picture of Harley flashed in her mind, of her latching on to Jack with that damn shirt half off. She took a deep breath, steadying herself on the counter. This was going to be harder than she thought.

"Hey, Red? Have you seen Puddin'?" called Harley from the other room. That was another thing. Alice had had to listen to the blonde call him Pudding. Normally that wouldn't bother someone like Alice, but for some reason she found herself resisting the urge to tell Harley off. She even cringed a little at her new nickname. Harley seemed to have a thing for pet names.

"Afraid not, Harley." she answered back. She hadn't seen him all day in fact.

"I've been looking all over for him, but I can't find him anywhere. Hey, what're you making?" The younger woman entered the room.

"Spaghetti, it won't be ready for a while though." She answered as she turned off the noodles and drained them in the sink. Hopefully, Harley would get the hint and leave. No such luck.

"Oh, okay, I'll keep you company."

Alice cringed. It wasn't that she didn't like Harley, but at the moment Alice was experiencing some technical difficulties with her emotions. And Harley wasn't helping. A few minutes ticked by as Alice started on the sauce, adding a few spices, and Harley twirled her hair, absently. The blonde bit her lip, obviously racking her brain for something to talk about.

"So... how did you say you met Puddin'?" Did Alice hear a hint of jealousy spicing her curiosity?

"Oh, you know, I just sort of showed up on his doorstep one day." She decided to play with her a little. "I guess he took a liking to me."

There was a quick pause as Harley's face turned pink. Alice hid her smirk. She was way too easy.

"Kind of like a stray cat." Harley hissed, sweetly. "He felt bad for the little kitty."

"Well, he certainly wanted a pussy." Alice was surprised that she had actually said that, they had started attacking each other so fast. She wasn't one for cat fights. No pun intended.

Harley's face became an even pinker shade. Just as she opened her mouth to spit back a retort, however, she was interrupted by a high pitched snicker. Both women spun to look at the Joker as he clutched his sides. After a moment of his sniggering, he looked up, cocking his smiling face at Alice.

"I _tol_**d** you that the, uh, _bun_ny had _claws_." he giggled.

"Puddin'!" Harley squealed, jumping over to him and clamping on to his side. She shot Alice a sharp look, but it was wasted. Alice had locked eyes with the Joker and neither was letting go. "Where'd you run off to? Puddin'?"

He didn't look away from Alice as he spoke. "I was out calling the boys. You _see_, lovelies, we're _going_ to be _going_ on a _jo_**b** in a few days. We have to make up for _los_**t t**_ime_." He was cut off by soft protest from Alice. She tore her hand away from the stove and placed it under the sink, washing away the hot spaghetti sauce that had splashed on her hand. She motioned for the Joker to continue as she turned the heat down.

"But, uh, first we'll be going on a _sho_**pp**ing spree." He wet his lips. "We're going to need some _material_ for your, uh, _en_**sem**_bles_."

Harley's face lit up. "New clothes?"

"Costumes." Alice corrected, a smile lifting one side of her mouth. "Trying to bring us down to your level?" she asked.

The Joker just smirked.

* * *

She glanced up at the sky, shielding her eyes from the bright sun. A large mansion stretched out in the distance behind her.

"It's a good thing we came today. Nice and sunny out, not like the past few days." Bennett, her partner for the Wayne manor assignment, mentioned to Wayne's elderly butler. "So, what part of England did you say you were from?"

She rolled her eyes, tuning him out. Charles had just recently arrived back from a trip to London and he had become obsessed with letting people know. He had even picked up a few of their slang terms, using them at the wrong times, of course. He had only been there for a week and now he thought he was a native. Old Alfred was in for an earful. She looked around the garden and spotted a large fountain, the granite modified to look old. Glancing over at the prattling man and his patient listener, Theresa slipped over to take a few pictures. The sun was coming down at just the right angle, so that if she crouched down and shot upwards, she would get some good prints.

Her camera clacked a few times and she leaned back on her hands to examine her work. Not bad, but Hopkins probably wouldn't like it. She liked to take more abstract pictures, where he liked the more 'straight to the cut' style. How she ever ended up working for him, she didn't know.

"Those are good."

Startled, Theresa jerked to the side, brunette hair splaying out, and fell on her butt. She blew her bangs out of her eyes as she looked up. A tall man with short, dark brown hair was standing just beside her, smiling, laughter filling his eyes. Bruce Wayne.

"I'm sorry," he chuckled, offering her a hand, "I didn't mean to startle you."

"Oh, um, that's alright. " He hoisted her up and she muttered a quick thank you. "I'm Theresa Juniper."

He nodded his head, still smiling. "The photographer."

"Yeah, I'm, uh, guessing you're Bruce Wayne?"

"Your guess would be correct. Nice to meet you, Miss Juniper." He extended his hand again, reaching out and placing a polite kiss on hers.

She felt a blush creep onto her cheeks. It wasn't everyday her hand was kissed by a prince. Laughing under her breath, she smiled back at him. "You too, Mr. Wayne."

"Please, call me Bruce. Mr. Wayne sounds too professional."

"Alright then, Bruce." she confirmed.

He motioned towards her camera, still clutched tightly in her hand. "I do like your pictures, though. You're very talented."

"Nah, these things are nothing compared to my friend Sarah's. She can actually take them on purpose." she laughed.

"No really, these are brilliant." He leaned over, showing her one of the pictures she had taken of the inside of the house. "The way you caught the gleam on the stairs here is wonderful. I'd never be able to make something as boring as a staircase look so interesting."

She chuckled. "No?"

"Nope, I don't have a creative bone in my body. I was the one that drew stick figures in art class."

They laughed, flicking through a few more of the snapshots, stopping here and there to comment on one. "I can't believe you got Alfred to pose for one. Normally I'd have to threaten him with a vacation."

"He didn't really have a choice. I kind of pounced on him." she said.

"As long as you stay for dinner, I'm sure he'll forgive you."

She started. "Oh, no, I couldn't."

"Do you have plans?" he asked.

"Well, no..." she trailed off, unsure of what to say. Bruce was known for being a man who liked his women, flittering from one girl to another. She didn't want this to end up in bed.

"Then, please, I insist. Bennett, too." He gestured to the darkening sky. "It's already pretty late and it would be a hassle to make anything after the drive home."

"I'd just end up ordering out." she mumbled.

Bruce smiled. "Please, I feel bad for making you stay out here and listen to me gab away." He pleaded with his eyes. She'd always been a sucker for the puppy dog look.

"Alright, we'll have dinner." She shook her head, grinning back. "Thank you."

"Not at all."

* * *

_**So we finally see Bruce. I'm sure you all can tell where I'm going with this, but I always thought Bruce had a thing for brunettes. Not a lot happened in this, but I just thought I'd get it out there. I've got some ideas for upcoming chapters so hopefully I'll keep on writing. They might be coming a little slower, though. I find myself losing the will to write in this more and more. But a big shout out for AlexaJ who has been awesome and left tons of reviews. Thank you so much! They always make me feel like my writing isn't completely bogus. They keep me going! To everyone else, thanks for reading and please follow by example and review for me. Thanks.**_


	8. Could you rephrase the question?

_**Aha, I'm not dead after all. I'm sorry it took so long to get this out, but I wanted to make sure it was good. I didn't rush, I didn't force myself to write, and I went over it a million times. I think they'll be coming slower from now on, so beware. It's a longer chapter anyways, which kinda makes up for the long wait, no? Just one more thing before you start reading, I'm changing the... format for the chapter titles. I've been using lyrics (I know I'm bad, no disclaimer), but I'm going to try and use quotes now. I know you're thinking,'Will she shut the hell up so we can get on with it?' Well, enjoy!

* * *

**_

___**"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?"**_

___-Lily Tomlin_

It was a greenhouse. He had taken them to a _greenhouse_. They were standing in front of the van he'd gotten from one of his lackeys, staring up at the offending building with an old, brick house in front. While her own expression was a little dubious, Harley seemed to just be confused. She couldn't have looked more puzzled if she'd had a big question mark painted on her forehead. The thought made Alice smirk inwardly, still feeling some resentment towards the blonde for earlier that evening. The dinner had passed quietly, after she had excused herself for the meal of sticky noodles and runny sauce alone. It wouldn't have turned out that way, if only she hadn't been _distracted_. She clenched her hand into a fist, the direction of her pondering agitating her nerves. No more thinking about him, she urged herself. No more thoughts about the Joker. If only it were that simple.

The man in question leapt forward with a large grin, motioning for the other two to follow. "Come along, _girlies_, can't keep the twins _wai-ting_." He snickered.

"The 'twins'?" Alice asked, walking just behind him. Harley immediately popped up next to him, hooking an arm through his. She wasn't over their tiff either, apparently.

If possible, his smile widened further. "Oh, just some old _friends_." He gave Alice a sly glance. "I'm sure you'll get along per-fect-ly." They rounded the house, the Joker's great, loping steps heading towards the greenhouse.

"What should we call them?" she asked, still curious.

"_One'_**s** called Violet. The other is _Pep_**per**." He was chuckling, knowing it would make Alice more eager and curious.

They came upon the greenhouse now and he tapped lightly on the glass. Harley cupped her hands and peered through the window, trying to find one of the women amongst the red pots and green stalks. Though Alice was just as curious, she stayed in place. They'd meet these twins soon enough. A head sprouted from the back of the room and Harley jumped back with a yelp of surprise. Alice watched as the woman made her way towards them, observing her thick, white hair pulled back into a ponytail. She held herself straight, almost regally, and her long, winkled face was turned up at the crooked nose. She was tall and wore a baggy shirt and blue jeans, looking very much the hippie. And she was scowling.

When she opened the door, her voice was as sharp as a thorn. "What do _you_ want? I was just getting ready to plant my azaleas and now I have to deal with the Clown of Crime and his backup fools."

"Violet, as _charming_ as ever." the clown said, his grin never leaving his face. He motioned to Alice and Harley. "I've come for some ma_terial_. Backup fools need good threa**ds**, _too_."

The woman huffed, but nodded her head. Grimacing, she ran back into the greenhouse, rummaging around out of sight, before coming back and locking up. Violet started for the house, calling behind her as she went. "Are you planting roots, or can you move it a little? I've got things to do." They started to follow her, the Joker grinning like a madman, as she continued to mutter complaints under her breath. Alice had to admit, she was beginning to get amused with the elderly woman as well.

She glanced up at her smiling companion. "Are we going to see her sister?"

"Yes." he answered back.

"Does her sister sew or something?"

"_Or_ something." he answered, giggling freely. Alice rolled her eyes. He certainly was enjoying the situation. At her expense, of course.

They reached the house and Violet lead them through room after room and hall after hall. Alice hadn't thought the house was that big when she had first set eyes on it. Now that she was inside of the building, she could see that it wasn't a tall house exactly, but very long. Another thing she had noticed, was a strong scent wafting in the air. Her mind quickly shifted through the possibilities. Either it was Pepper cooking or the twins weren't the only ones living here. And what about the _fabrics_?

Finally making it to the kitchen, she took the time to look around. It appeared to be the biggest room in the house, the length of it stretching at least 25 feet. The walls were painted a deep orange and red cabinets lined them all the way around the room, skipping past the door. On the far side stood a large, old oven, surrounded left and right by a dark marble counter and littered with the droppings of spices and other things. A soft humming could be heard coming from the short, rotund woman standing in front of the oven, bustling around and sprinkling things into a pot.

"We've got company, Pep." Violet stated to her sister as she drew a chair from the wide table in the middle of the room, and sat down.

"So I heard." she chuckled. "You'd be surprised at how loud you can be at times, dear sister." Violet rolled her eyes. Wiping her hand on her apron, Pepper turned to look at the trio coming in with her sibling. She peered through her glasses and down her long nose, a smile playing on her lips. "What can we do ya for, Joker?"

The Joker motioned to the two women behind him. "These two are soon to _drop off_ into the tunnel of crimin_ality_." He grinned and clapped his hands. "_So_ they're going to need a new _war_drobe."

"Alright, who's doing the honors then?" Pepper asked.

"I wouldn't _dream_ of taking your _fun_ away." he razzed.

Violet pointed a finger at them. "I don't want to get stuck working on these things until the rooster crows."

Pepper chuckled. "Well, we better get started then, hadn't we? Come on, Vee, the sooner we get started the sooner we get done." Her sister grunted. "You four head up stairs. I'll be done in a minute."

"I've got talk to you. He knows the way, he can take them." Violet stated, waving her hand to shoo them out.

"We'll _leave_ you two _be_ then." said the Joker in mock politeness as he turned around and ushered Alice and Harley out the door. As the door swung shut, however, Alice couldn't help but overhear Violet's hissed voice. She could only catch a few phrases and, putting them together, she got the picture.

"I _told_ you I don't like him here... unstable and I don't know what could set it off."

"You worry too much. If we don't give him what he wants, isn't... likely to fly off the handle?" came Pepper's voice, sounding a much harsher then when she had been in the presence of the Joker. "Let's just take the measurements... him on his way. He pays well enough..."

She didn't hear the rest as they headed up the stairs. Wondering if he'd heard them as well, she peeked up to find him smirking. He knew. Of course he knew. Violet's fright had been blatantly obvious with the way she put her walls up. Always attacking them verbally. Pepper on the other hand, she seemed to not care, or if she did, she hid it very well. They continued down a long hallway to the last door on the left. The Joker threw it open revealing a large room scattered with various sewing utensils, mannequins, and rolls of fabrics. Harley let out a squeal, running into the room and grabbing hold of a bright pink, silk cloth.

Walking over to a dark red colored cloth, Alice questioned the Joker as he leaned against the door. "I thought we were just here for material."

"I, ah, _changed_ my mind. I'm known to do that."

"So you sew?" She fingered the red fabric, pulling some over to hold up to the white cloth next to it.

"I picked up the trade around the same time I learned _kni_**fe**_ throwing_." He grinned at her quirked eyebrow. "I thought you would've _guessed_ that I was in a circus. Isn't it a bit _ob-vious_?"

"I always thought you were making a statement." She sighed playfully. "Just when you think you know someone..."

"They go and buy you a new _set of clothes_." He snickered.

A smile twinkled in her eyes. She nodded her head, looking up from the fabrics. "Thanks by the way. Even though neither of us ever asked for it."

He answered in a grunt and tilted his head to the side. His tongue flicked out, wetting his lips.

"Why do you do that? Is it the scars, the makeup?" she asked.

"Do _what_?"

"Lick your lips."

His eyebrows raised as he let loose a short snicker. "I'm not _sure_. Apparently, I don't, uh, pay as much _at_**ten**_tion_ to them as _you_ do."

Something stiffened in Alice. She rolled her eyes. "You do it a lot. It's not like I'm examining them." she said, knowing she sounded too defending.

He pushed off of the door, walking by her. He hissed in her ear. "Isn't it?"

She suppressed a shiver as he continued on past her, towards Harley. The blonde immediately started to show him the different cloths that she liked, not seeming to notice that he only nodded his head. His attention flitting over to the small woman behind him.

She focused on the fabric, trying to form ideas in her head as to what she could design. The Red Queen. It should be a dress, befitting of a queen to wear a dress, but it would have to be easy to maneuver around in. Something royal, something practical, something he would like... She caught herself. There would be no thinking like that, like some dumb bimbo. Like Harley. She could beat this feeling she had for him. This attraction.

Her eye caught sight of a dark blue amongst the colors on the rolls. A image of an old woman standing over her wearing a long, navy coat flashed through her mind. Then a picture of the same woman holding her hand. Alice's eyes snapped shut as her teeth ground together. When she had control over her thoughts, she opened her eyes again, breathing out slowly and softlly. Over the years she had met a lot of people, a lot of interesting people. Nana was one of those. In the end though, her uniqueness, her madness, had been the executioner. She had always said that she wouldn't let old age get her, and it didn't. She raced it to the death, into madness.

The door creaked open. "Alright, are we ready to get started?" asked Pepper as she stepped in. She clapped her hands and a few remnants of flour flew into the air. "Vee, how about you take her." She motioned to Harley. "And I'l take her." She pointed at Alice.

Violet agreed and, somewhat forcefully, ushered Harley over to the opposite side of the room. The young woman began to babble away on the designs she had thought up for her new 'ensemble'. Violet glared at her peppiness, but nodded her head taking a few notes on a pad of paper. While Harley rambled on, Pepper lead Alice over to a small desk, sitting down and poising a pencil over the open notebook resting there. She smiled.

"So, what do you have in mind?" she asked.

As Alice helped the older woman map her ideas, she found that once she had given the basic description, it wasn't much more than answering yes or no, or giving a brief description on the sleeves or length of the dress. Pepper and Violet knew what they was doing. Her mind whisked back to Nana, her eyes drifting over and landing on the Joker as he prowled around the room. He would lift up a gadget that interested him and once he had figured out what it did, or lost interest in it, he would carelessly plop it back down and move on to the next.

What would Nana think of the Joker? The thought intrigued her, almost as much as the man himself. What _would_ Nana think of him? What would she think of Alice's current... fascination?She would probably say it had something to do with her automatic curiosity for anything she didn't understand completely. That she was fascinated by the Joker because he was an enigma. A genius, narcissistic, _diabolical_ enigma. And she would probably be right. She always was, until the end. Until her demons came. The trickster that was possessing her thoughts, looked up. And stared directly at her, as if he were reading her thoughts. He smirked. She looked away, rolling her eyes to show her annoyance.

Staring down at Pepper's notes and sketches, the question hit her again. Why _did_ she have this feeling towards him? This Loki parodist, that created chaos whenever he got the chance, that was always one leap ahead of everyone else. That could dangle the city on the end of his finger and come out of the fireworks without a scratch. Growling silently to herself, she directed her thoughts to Pepper. She didn't have the distraction for long.

"This what you were thinking of?" prompted Pepper.

She studied the sketches, nodding her head. "That's it."

"Well then, once you pick out your fabrics, you'll be done!" Pepper chuckled, glancing over at her sister. The leaner twin seemed to be struggling between the choice of strangling Harley with her bare hands, or just shoving some fabric down her throat. Alice hoped she picked the latter. It would be more entertaining.

"What about measurements?" Alice asked.

Pepper laughed. "Oh, don't worry about those. Violet and I are pretty good judges."

She walked over to the red cloth she had inspected before, showing Pepper the white next to it as well. They quickly went through all the different colors and shades that were needed, finishing just before Harley and Violet. The Joker, who had sprawled himself out on the small couch in the corner, popped up, walking over to stand beside Harley. She looked up at him and grinned widely.

"Mistah Jay, whaddya think?" she asked, glee and hope shining in her eyes. She motioned to the design that Violet had drawn, and he picked up the sketchbook. Squinting his eyes at it, he smirked.

He glanced down at her. "It's _ace_, Harley. "

At those three words, Harley's smile grew so that Alice half expected it to tear like the Joker's. But, no, it stayed unscarred, her plump red lips glowing above her white teeth. Turning away, Alice felt the need for some fresh air. All of Harley's flirts were making her sick to her stomach. She was so oblivious. _Too_ oblivious for her own good.

Violet looked at the Joker expectantly. "We'll take our pay now. Twice as much as last time, since it's for two." She held out her hand, wagging her fingers impatiently.

The Joker gave an exasperated sigh, rolling his eyes and shoving his hand into his coat pocket. "_Rob_ a man of his _li_**fe**-savings, why don't ya?" He pulled out a very large wad of money and began flicking through it casually. Alice noticed that everyone in the room, herself excluded, was watching the money closely. Harley's eyes were saucers. Coming to the right amount, he held out the pay, a little grin twitching at his lips.

"Oh, like _you_ haven't before. Besides do you really think I'd trust you to pay us _after_ the work is done?" Violet said, snatching the money and smiling for the first time Alice had seen her. She was actually quite pretty when she smiled. She must have been gorgeous when she was younger. But it looked like her worry lines had come in quickly. Once she had finished sifting through the money, her smile withered to a flat line, turning down at the edges. She looked up sharply with her scowl back in place.

"Don't try and short change us because we're old. Give us the rest." Her eyes were blazing, but not just with anger.

The Joker shrugged nonchalantly, looking at her like she was a little funny. "I _ga_**ve** you all that I _owe_ you." he said slowly. There was a tilt to his voice that gave away giddiness. Alice eyed them both curiously. Something was going on here. What was he doing?

The taller twin's face paled. She gulped before she spoke. "What?"

Her eyes flickered quickly over to her right, then back again. Alice noticed. She followed her glance, her brows raising in surprise. The other twin had been all, but forgotten. Pepper was standing a few feet away from her sister, all signs of her earlier disposition vanished. Her fists were clenched, white at the knuckle; her feet set apart to hold her wide girth; her eyes... were like Saint Elmo's fire. She scrunched her round face, her wrinkles folding into grooves like a tree. She was glaring at the Joker.

"Please, don't do this..." came Violet's voice. Alice assumed she was speaking to the Joker, but when she looked back, Violet had glanced over at her sister again.

"Do what?" the Joker asked in mock puzzlement. He opened his mouth to say more, but Pepper beat him to it.

"How dare you!" she screeched. She moved closer towards him, hands clenching and unclenching. "You thieving clown! You owe us that money and we want all of it! "

Harley, seeing Pepper advance on her 'Puddin', stepped up to stop her, but Pepper would have none of that. Harley's fall made a loud thump. She scooted back and stood up, eyeing Pepper apprehensively as she backed up towards the door. The Joker just grinned innocently. Pepper was trying to ignore her sister's protesting arms, but Violet was stronger than she looked. Pepper had to look around the taller twin to shout at the offending man. Her screams were getting louder and louder as she continued to verbally abuse the Joker, making less and less sense.

"You're trying to get us thrown out! You want us to starve! Then you could move in and take our things!" Her voice grew to a higher pitch and she turned on her sister. "And you let him in! You're in on it! You and him will keep all the money and leave me out in the cold! You want me to die!"

She sat down abruptly, Violet dropping down with her. Pepper's voice slowly reduced to sobs. She rocked back and forth as Violet tried to take her in her arms. She pushed them away, blubbering into the darkening evening. For a few moments it was the only sound as Harley stood by the door and Alice watched from beside the desk. The Joker was standing just a few feet away from the crying woman and her sister. He was staring down at them, his face obscured by his hair. Finally, Violet reached forward again, and forced Pepper into a hug, continuing to rock her. Soft hums were mixed into Pepper's moans, and it was quiet again.

Then, slowly, Pepper silenced into a few short hiccups. Violet stopped rocking her, looking down to see her face.

"Vee?" came Pepper's whispered voice. She looked up, staring at her sister. She looked worried. "Why are you crying?" She smiled a small, concerned smile, bringing a hand up and wiping the salty trails from her sister's cheek.

Violet shook her head, trying her best to smile reassuringly. "No reason. You know me, always the hormonal mess."

Pepper nodded her head. "Oh..." Her face took on a confused expression. "Um, what was I doing, just now?"

"You were getting ready to go to bed."

"Oh, oh, that's right.... that's right." She fumbled on the floor obviously trying and failing to get up. "I, I think I need help." she said weakly.

Violet took her under her arm, before shooting a stare at Harley. "Help me." she spat. Startled, the blonde walked over, uncertainly, and took Pepper's other arm. "On three. One, two, _three_." They heaved her up, supporting her by placing her arms over their shoulders. "We'll take you downstairs and into bed, alright, Pep?"

"Mhm..." she muttered, staring at the floor, oblivious to the people around her.

They walked her out the door, leaving Alice and the Joker in silence. She stepped forward to follow them, but stopped and leaned back against the threshold. She stared at him, shaking her head.

"What was that?"

"What?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"You know what I mean."

"Oh, _that_." A smirk tugged on his smiling lips. "Pepper has a, ah... condition. Evi_dently_, something _hap_pened to her when she was younger that, uh, _scarred_ her for life. Certain words, certain _actions_, set her off into her... _fit_**s**." He snickered as he stalked forward.

"And not getting the full amount set her off?" she asked. She looked away as he grinned, taking it as confirmation. She glanced down the hall at their retreating voices. "Violet seemed pretty upset. Does it happen often?"

"I'm afraid I, ah, wouldn't _know_. I've only been here _twi_**ce** before." He smacked his lips.

"Oh?" she asked, still staring down the hall. Taking her lip in her teeth, Alice looked back. "Why'd you do it?"

He laughed. "_Because_, my dear bunny, Violet and Pepper are just _too_. Much. Fun."

She shook her head. "Not that." She forced herself to clamp down on the feeling stirring in her stomach. She hadn't felt this apprehensive in a long time. "Why did you kiss me?"

He laughed again, louder this time. More unhinged. Looking back at her, he spoke with mock seriousness. "If I recall cor_rec_tly, you were, uh, par-ti-ci-pating quite _rigorous_**ly** as well." He stepped closer to her.

"Don't change the subject. Why?"

"Hmm, let me see.... _Why_ did I kiss you." He placed his hand on his chin. "You know, to, ah, to tell the _tru_**th**... I can't really re_mem_ber it all that well." His dark eyes fell down to her face, his voice falling to a low gravel.

"Maybe you could re_fresh_ my memory."

He lunged forward quickly, catching her waist before she could escape. She glared, staring at him like he was a complete idiot. She didn't struggle, though, and he could feel how fast her heart was beating. She folded her arms.

"_What_, not looking for a repeat?" he asked, tapping his fingers on her sides. She pursed her lips. "What's the _matt_er, _Ali_**ce**? _Cat_ got your tongue?" He grinned a wide, cheshire smile.

"You done?" she asked, raising one eyebrow.

"_No_**t** in the _slight_est." he purred, tilting his head down. "I've been thinking lately."

"That's amazing." she snorted. Only to suppress a yelp as he pinched her sides.

"As I was _saying_," He cleared his throat. "I've been thinking _and_," He rolled his eyes up, before letting them fall back down to her. "I've come to _real_**ize** that I _don't know why_ you're still here. What's in this for _you_?" he asked skeptically.

"You mean, besides basking in your genius?" she said sarcastically.

His laughter filled the room. "See now, _that's_ what I like about you, _bun_**ny**. You're not a_fraid_ to mouth off to **me**." He dropped his gaze to her lips. "But I'm trying, _trying_ to be serious here."

"Of course you are, Jack. But that doesn't mean I _have_ _to_ answer you."

He raised his eyebrows. "Oh? And _why's_ that?"

Because she didn't know either, she told herself. She sighed heavily. She berated herself for asking him. She had known that he would have tried to pull something, so why had she asked? She told herself, again, that she didn't know. "Look, I broke you out of Arkham, so I figure you owe me. The least you could do is let me crash at your place for a while." She was a good actress.

"I see, so the _only_ reason you're sticking around is because, _ahem_, you feel I'm in _deb_**t**_ to you_?"

"I thought that was obvious."

"So you _smooching_ _me back_, was just an," He waved his hand. "_acciden_**t**. That it?" She nodded her head. He looked at her cynically, raising one eyebrow. Then he brought his head down. "Well..."

This kiss was sweet. It wasn't rough like other one. He was gentle, he wasn't trying to eat her. She found herself responding, kissing back just as softly. She would have resisted. She tried to at first, but he had caught her off guard. He was being gentle. She wasn't used to that. He had done it on purpose of course, to get her to react. And it had worked. Besides, if she was truly honest with herself... didn't she _want_ to kiss him back? She brought her hand up to his cheek, tracing his scars softly. He moaned slightly, leaning into her more. After a moment, he broke the kiss, leaving his his head close to hers. He leaned a hand above her head, staring down at her. He licked his lips.

"Was _that_ an accident, too?" he asked, his voice deep and husky.

"I could ask you the same thing." she whispered, her eyes flitting between his.

Suddenly, the Joker pushed himself away from the wall, growling and backing up to glare at her. Why he was suddenly angry, she didn't know. Running a hand through his hair, he shook it out. His tongue swept out again as he regarded her. He left the room in a blur of purple.

Alice brought her head against the wall with a thump. What the _hell_ was that? She rubbed the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes in frustration. Frustration for him, and for herself. He was so damn unpredictable. She guessed that he would kiss her, but not how. That had definitely caught her off guard. Now she knew where the attraction was coming from. She had known before, she _had_ known. She just hadn't wanted to think she was that frivolous when it came to lust. Now she knew why she kissed him back twice. _Twice_. She groaned.

Nana would have been smug about being right.

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_**I hope you all liked it. Things are starting to form in my head now. I think, at most, this story is going to be about 15 chapters. I think. I've got a poll up on my profile and if you like and read this story, which I'm guessing you do because you're reading this, then please go and check it out. I'd like your guys' input on it. My goodness, though! Thank you to everyone who left me a review! They were wonderful. You guys sure know how to make a girl feel good. Thank you, thank you, thank you! If you have any questions on stuff just leave me a line and I'll try and answer it. To tell the truth the Joker seems to be getting away from me. I don't mean that I can't write him, but he's got a mind of his own. Then again, I can definitely see the possibilities of him being too OOC in this. I just contradicted myself, didn't I? Please tell me what you guys think. Thanks for reading!**_

_**Reviews are cooler than Alice's costume.**_


	9. A Great Wit

**Oh my. When I said the chapters would be coming out after longer periods of time, I hadn't meant _that_ much longer. I'm sorry! I originally had had this chapter done two weeks ago. But then certain distractions came up (namely a tantalizingly good Sherlock Holmes fanfic series and a decidedly sad week of vacation.) Again I apologize. I'd say it wouldn't happen again, but... we all know I'd be lying...**

**I Disclaim.**

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**"Great wits are sure to madness near allied, and thin partitions do their bounds divide."**

_-John Dryden_

Bruce was _funny_. She could barely stop herself from laughing every other word, nearly choking on her wine several times. Of course, she'd had him chuckling, too. She wasn't one to back down from a battle of wits. He was possibly even more handsome when he was laughing. She had to keep herself from taking a large gulp of wine, every time she thought that. She wasn't an ugly woman. But she wasn't the model type that Bruce dated. Her long, brown hair was fluffy to the state of frizziness, her bangs puffing out above her hazel eyes. She had her mother's eyes, her father's nose, her grandmother's mouth. She had reached 5 foot and 6 inches in tenth grade and hadn't grown another inch since. All in all, average. Just average. The thought would instantly sober her and she would need another sip of wine.

"Did you know, in English," Bennett began "with words, a double negative forms a positive? In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

Theresa raised one eyebrow. "Yeah, right."

Bruce sputtered on his drink, coughing to cover up his laughter. But Bennett, always one to share his knowledge with the rest of the world and _never_ one to miss a joke, nodded his head vigorously. "It's true, I took a linguistic class when I was in college."

"Oh, did you? Didn't you also study phonetics?" she asked, launching him off into the subject. She rolled her eyes at Bruce, who only smirked.

As Bennett continued to spout off useless facts, starting off speaking of the different ways people spoke and ending up talking about what he ate on his trip to Europe, Bruce's butler, Alfred, entered the room. He approached the table, waiting for Bennett to finish his spiel. Bennett kept talking. Theresa shook her head, smiling kindly at the older white-haired man.

"You'd better just say it. He's not going to stop anytime soon." she laughed.

Bruce chuckled with her before looking up at his butler. "Go ahead, Alfred."

"Pardon me, Master Bruce. I hadn't wished to interrupt." he said in a thick cockney accent, smiling. There was something in his eyes, however, and Bruce knew exactly what it was about. "You have a phone call on your private line."

"Ah, I better take this. Excuse me, will you?" Bruce said, smoothly, sliding his chair back and getting up.

"Oh, of course." said Theresa. She smiled wryly, glancing at Bennett. "I'll just socialize with Charlie here."

"And the man thought _I_ stole his sheep! Can you believe that? I tell you that's the last time I visit Wales." Bennett carried on, not realizing he had lost his audience.

Bruce laughed. "I'll be right back." he said as he left the room, leaving Theresa and Alfred to make their own conversation. They had to speak around Bennett's loud voice.

Walking down the long hallway, heading towards his favorite study, Bruce's footsteps echoed through the large home. Gordon had just sent him a message, not minutes ago. He had gotten the results back from scene and he was sending them to Batman. Bruce reached the room, stepping over to a nearly empty bookshelf that held a few pictures. The one he was drawn, specifically, to was an old picture of a young couple. The pretty, laughing woman was dressed all in white with one arm around her man as he held her bridal style. The man himself was beaming a ridiculously large smile, obviously just happy to be alive and holding that beautiful woman in his arms. Bruce's hand strayed behind the picture's frame and pressed a tiny button. The image of his parents slid back to reveal a small screen and keyboard.

Once he had gotten the memo from Gordon, he had immediately sent a message to Alfred. The butler had responded by coming in and giving Bruce an excuse to leave the room. It would have impolite to just get up and go. He finished typing in the password and the bookcase to his right glided open, closing behind him with a soft _swoosh_. It was dark inside for a moment, then the elevator began to glow and a low rumble could be heard as the lift lowered itself. The doors opened and Bruce exited into Batman's headquarters.

The massive cave had been modified to accommodate the vigilante's needs. There were a few large screens on the opposite wall to the elevator, with a layout of buttons and such beneath them. In the middle of the room sat a vehicle that seemed to be a smaller version of a tank, parked and brand new. A gift from Lucius Fox. Positioning himself in front of the screens, Bruce clicked open the file Gordon had sent him.

The commissioner had forwarded him a record from Akham asylum on a Miss Hartman. The woman had been a patient at Arkham for many years, labeled with a slight A voidant personality disorder and later a dissociative identity disorder (DID). Doctors attributed this to an abusive childhood, but it was never backed with actual evidence. Miss Hartman was committed to the asylum at age 17. She was given therapy immediately and, after several years, was thought to have made improvement enough to be discharged. This was debunked when an incident occurred (the event otherwise dubbed as Fear Night), killing and injuring multiple staff members and patients. Miss Hartman, herself, obtained various wounds from an explosion. The accident reduced her mind back to it's original state, rousing her A voidant disorder to a new level. She became violent after a week and was transferred to a isolated cell.

It was at this time that the doctors became aware of her growing DID. It was also noted that Miss Hartman had created only one main character. This persona would take control of Miss Hartman for weeks at a time, on each occasion having a different reason for the scars she had received (through her life at home and at Arkham). There were two particular traits of Miss Hartman's alter ego that Doctors found strange. There had been previous cases wherein the artificial personalities had known of their host body; usually these personas were there to help, taking control of the person when he or she could no longer hold out by themselves. Miss Hartman's character held this quality, but did not appear when needed, instead choosing to take control when Miss Hartman showed signs of improvement. Some doctors went so far as to say that she was deliberately trying to maintain her alter ego. The other characteristic, however, could only be described as rare. The patient's alter ego had taken on Miss Hartman's byname.

Bruce stopped reading as the elevator's doors opened and Alfred stepped out with a cup of steaming coffee on a tray.

"Mr. Bennett and Miss Juniper give their thanks and apologies, but the hour was getting late. I told them you wouldn't mind their leaving." Alfred said, walking up to him.

Bruce reached over and took the mug from the tray, nodding his thanks. "Good, I think I'm going to be heading out soon anyways. To see what else Gordon's got." The two men looked back at the document.

"DID, Master Bruce?" Alfred questioned.

Bruce sighed, feeling very tired. "Dissociative identity disorder, also known as multiple personality disorder."

"This is the file on the, ah-"

"-the woman from the video, yes." Bruce finished for him. He took a sip from his coffee. "If this is correct, which it is, then her 'alter ego' is due for a trip back down to earth. If she hasn't already."

Alfred nodded his head. "Meaning the other Miss Hartman will be coming out."

Looking back at the text on the screen, Bruce reread the last passage.

"But which one is it?"

* * *

When they got back to the theater, she strayed into the kitchen. The Joker had mumbled something about going to his office, walking off backstage. She headed towards the kitchen after she heard a door slam, edging through the shadows to the green room. It was small, makeshift. The Joker had obviously just thrown everything together. The oven was rusting in places at the bottom. The refrigerator was more of an icebox, old and dingy. Almost as dusty as the tilting table that was missing a segment out of one leg. The loss in height had been replaced by a large telephone book. The thickness of the book was more than needed, so the table sloped in the opposite direction. At least he had a coffee machine.

And it was still going. She turned the contraption off, pouring the luke warm liquid down the drain of the stained sink. One thing she'd found in the past days, was that there was always coffee available. She was beginning to think that the Joker's teeth were yellow, not from bad hygiene, but from drinking so much coffee. The man was addicted to it. She sat down, the chair groaning as she leaned forward. But even if his teeth were yellow, he was still the sweetest piece of ass she had ever seen. Setting her arms on the table, she buried her head in them. She sat that way for a few moments, just breathing in and out, not thinking of anything. She felt the fringe of sleep surrounding her fuzzy head.

The chair across from her creaked. Sighing silently, she faded back into consciousness. She peeked up from her arms, finding the small, ebony haired woman leaning back in her chair, placing an arm over her brow. She looked tired, dark and heavy bags were under eyes, dragging her down. About as tired as she felt. The only source of light was a flickering, over-head lamp with a dirty, dead insect ridden covering. The trembling, dull light caused their shadows to shake with anticipation. The kitchen was placed on the small stage of the green room and stood before a small layout of chairs. She could almost feel their invisible audience watching. Having one of the most domestic settings setup as if they were on show, was strange to say the least. She watched Red as she breathed a deep sigh. She cleared her throat and Red looked over, her face in shadows with the light behind her. Her piercing blue eyes stared at her expectantly, maybe even with a little hostility. Harley looked down at the dusty table, suddenly very uncomfortable. She opened her mouth.

"I apologize about before. I was just being stupid and got carried away. I really didn't mean anything by it." Red spoke before her.

Harley's eyes snapped up, her mouth closing with a click. That's basically what she had been about to say. She shifted in her seat. "I'm, uh, sorry, too. I didn't mean to get so hot, I just get-"

"A little jealousy never hurt anybody. And if it did, nobody really cares." Red stopped her, offering a little smile and a wink. She leaned forward when Harley smiled lightly, holding out her hand. "So, truce?" They shook hands. Red looked at her slyly, raising one eyebrow. "You two are pretty serious then?"

Harley broke into a wide grin. "I'd like to think so." she said, softly.

"You've kissed?" Red asked.

"Mhm." Harley said, proudly, nodding her head. "And a little more..."

Red brought her hand up to her mouth with a gasp. "So it is serious!"

Their previous spat almost completely forgotten, the two couldn't help themselves from giggling like high school girls and Harley felt herself liking Red a little more. The raven haired woman waved her hand in the air dismissively.

"Just for the record I've never had any love interest in him, nor plan to." she said. "Besides, do you really think the Joker would pick _me_ over _you_?" She snorted.

Harley protested. "Red, you're pretty!"

"Maybe, but I'm not gorgeous like some blonde I know." she smiled, playfully.

If Harley had been looking closely, she would have seen a twinkle of something in Red's eyes. But as it was, she was too busy blushing and giggling. Red seemed to know exactly what to say to make her feel good. It could be that she had been wrong to be so distrustful of her. They talked on, Red giggling at just the right moments and saying just the right things to make Harley realize how nice she really was. Before she knew it, an hour had passed and Harley had a striking thought.

"I've got something to tell you." Red leaned in. "Harley Quinn isn't really my name."

"Oh?" she prompted, sounding surprised.

"No, it's really Harleen Quinzel. Mistah Jay called me Harley Quinn when I first met him. After that it just sort of stuck." Harley gave a meek smile. "To be honest, I kinda... figured if I told you my real name that you'd... well, you would, too."

Red sighed, looking down at the table. Her face became even more enveloped in shadows.

At her silence, Harley was afraid she had somehow offended the other woman. She quickly tried to undue her mistake. "Not that it matters! I mean, that is-"

"I don't have one." she said, interrupting her quietly.

"What?" Harley's heart stopped.

Red looked up. "I'll be completely honest with you. I have a feeling I can trust you." She offered a small smile that Harley returned. "I'm an orphan, Harley. I grew up on the streets, alone. I was never given a name."

"What happened to your parents?" Harley asked. She reached out and took Red's hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. She watched her face, feeling her trained instincts kicking in.

"I don't remember and I don't care." Her face hardened. "They left me, so that's their loss."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring up painful memories."

Red shook her head. "No, you're fine. Like I said, I don't even remember them." But Harley noticed her lips were pursed, an obvious sign that she was agitated. She was more upset than she was letting on.

Such a sad, interesting, life. What kind of affect would that sort of thing have on someone, she thought to herself.

"Where did you grow up then? If you don't mind me asking."

"Hm? Oh, no, that's OK... It's history. I don't really remember anything before the age of five. By then I was living on the streets, eating whatever I could find. Scavenging." said Red. Her voice tilted down at the end.

Harley felt like her eyes would pop out of her skull. "You lived on the streets?" she nearly screeched.

"Hey, hey, not so loud." she whispered, motioning with her hand to be quiet. Red glanced behind her at the doorway. When she turned back, Harley got a glimpse of something red glowing in the light at the corner of her mouth. But then Red was facing her again, and her features were shaded by shadows once more.

"Sorry, Red, but... I mean... _how_? How did you survive on the streets for so long? Alone for that matter."

The small woman once again looked down at her hands. This time, Harley realized, in shame. She watched as Red wrung her fingers . "I was a pretty good fighter and if I couldn't fight I could always run. But..." She trailed off, biting her bottom lip. "But there was always... always the option of s-selling my..." She broke off with a hiccough. Harley saw that tears were forming in her eyes and her heart went out to the other woman. What a horrible way to grow up.

"Don't say another word. Oh, Red." She patted her hand affectionately. "Don't worry, we won't talk about it anymore."

* * *

She could have laughed at how easily Harley fell for her act. It was surprisingly fun tricking the blonde into forgiving her. And she had to forgive her. Her constant bickering would get old. The fact that the Joker had found their spat funny, and would most likely be disappointed that he wouldn't be able to enjoy it anymore, was just a bonus. She bit her lip harder, causing more tears to fall and Harley to coo comfort. Biting her lip also stopped her from smiling. It was just too funny. Such a funny situation period.

Harley rubbed Alice's arm through her jacket, looking at her apologetically. No doubt she blamed herself for investigating too far.

The blonde confirmed her thoughts. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I'm so sorry. Let's change the subject." Alice nodded her head pathetically, sniffing. "I, um, I worked at Arkham, you know."

Her stomach quivered and she twitched slightly at the feeling. Harley didn't notice. Her hand strayed to her abdomen.

"I was a psychiatrist. I only had just started when the Mistah Jay's case was given to me. It was so interesting there, at Arkham. I mean it. All the different..." Alice's attention wavered away from her voice.

Her stomach positively trembled. Hot fire shot through her veins, scorching her nerves and leaving them tingling. She twitched again. Alice did _not_ like that feeling. She stopped the blonde before she could go any farther. Placing her clammy hands on the table, she stood up, silencing Harley and her talk of _Arkham_... An icy, wet sweat broke out on her back at the thought of the asylum.

"I'm... I'm sorry, Harley, but I think I need to get some... sleep. I'm feeling very tired all of a sudden." she said, turning around to head toward the door. It was then that she realized how lightheaded she was. She grabbed ahold of her chair for support. Not now, not _now_, she thought to herself. No, no, _no_...

"Are you alight, Red?" Harley asked. Alice opened her eyes slowly, not having realized she had closed them. She found that Harley had moved from her sitting position and now was standing right in front of her. She looked worried and brought a hand up to her forehead. Her worry increased. "You're ice cold. Are you feeling al-" Her voice stopped abruptly, her eyes glued to the side Alice's mouth. "You've got... you've smeared your make-up...." Her voice lost it's clarity, whether it was her own doing, or the ringing in Alice's ears.

She shook her head, trying to rid herself of her languor, blinking rapidly. If only Harley would stop talking, maybe she could think straight enough to clear her head completely. The taller woman's high-pitched words melded into each other, tauntingly. Confusing Alice more and more. She tried to tell Harley to be quiet, but her words were lost before she spoke them. The ground shifted, pitching the room into a wild spin. Alice dizzily reached out to take hold of Harley, trying to stay on her feet.

It was no use. Harley spun with the room as well and Alice grabbed onto thin air, misjudging the blonde's position by mere inches. She fell forward onto her knees, bringing her chair down with her. The sound of the metal of the folding chair hitting the old wood floor came muted to her ringing ears.

This wasn't happening. Not now, of all times. She needed to get ahold of herself. She was losing her grip on reality, the boards of the floor flowing into strange shapes. She fought to keep her eyes open. She heard a muffled yell. Harley was calling the Joker no doubt. That thought alone triggered something in her mind, but it was too disorganized to place the emotion. She looked up as heavy footsteps approached and realized that she had fallen completely on the floor now. Laying on her back, she stared up into two dark brown pits.

Black pits. Black_, black, _**black...**

"Damnit... Harley..." was the last thing that escaped her lips. The words came out in puffs of breath so soft that only the man carrying her heard them. She knew no more, but darkness.

**

* * *

**

**I think this chapter may have surprised me as much as you. I had planned on going a ****_completely_ different route with this. But thanks to my father's keen observation skills, he got me thinking. Although this doesn't exactly fix the problem he brought up... it's a hell of a lot more interesting. To me at least. I'd like to hear what you all have to say on it. I hope I didn't sound too stupid with all the black, black, black's. If you like this chapter, and this story, I'd really appreciate it if you would go and check out the poll on my profile. Yes, I know I didn't have it up before. I didn't realize that I had to ****_tell_ it to put it up there. Psh. Internet. Thanks for reading all, I'll be back as soon as I can!**

**(This has been revised in the briefest of terms.)**


	10. Desire

**I'm back from the dead! Lol, I hope you all haven't given up on me, yet. I have a problem with deadlines and as you can see, there are none in this story. So I apologize if you're getting frustrated with me and my lack of update. I must say, though, thanks for all the reviews! I'm lovin' all the love! I hope you enjoy the chapter, it's got a bit less Joker and Alice than usual, but I think it's still good. Enjoy.**

**I Disclaim.**

* * *

_**"For the rational, psychologically healthy man, the desire for pleasure is the desire to celebrate his control over reality. For the neurotic, the desire for pleasure is the desire to escape from reality."**_

_-Nathaniel Brandan_

Light came through the darkness behind her eyelids, painfully causing spots to form. She brought a hand up to cover her eyes, feeling the soft blanket covering her slip off her arm. Her other arm moved back and forth on the plush mattress beneath her, taking in the feel of the smooth sheet. Slowly, the fingers hiding her eyes moved apart to let some of the light through. Just as slowly, she opened her eyes, glancing around her with tired apprehension. She took in the four rose red walls, the deep, blood red ceiling with the white trim, the lone dresser in the corner, and lastly, the small, simple bed she laid on. As she sat up and smoothed a hand over the white sheet blanketing her legs, a soft whimper escaped her pursed lips. She fisted the sheet and threw it off her as she jumped out of the bed, only to teeter lightheadedly and clutch the mattress behind her.

She looked around wildly, as if someone were watching her. Which they probably were. Stumbling quickly across the floor to the door on the other side of the room, she failed to notice the dark, cushiony comforter discarded at the foot of her bed, laying spread out just so on the deep mahogany floor. Her balance put off from her quick rise, she had already slipped and fallen by the time she realized it was there. A quiet yelp of pain bounced through the room and she was on her feet again, heading towards the door with an urgency that caused her to slip twice more. But then she was there, throwing the door open. No longer feeling the need to look around her, the fear of being watched was still itching the back of her ankles. She needed out, that much was certain.

Just as she was about to bolt out the open door, she rammed into a green shirt. She felt the body beneath the shirt take a breath as two gloved hands gripped her upper arms and pure terror burned her insides in an icy freeze. Her heart beat ever increasing, she froze, too afraid to look up. Too afraid to confirm her fears.

"_Going_ somewhere, Quee_ny_?" came a sing-song voice.

She began to tremble.

"_Hmmmm_?" The body took a step forward, walking her backward and further into the room. She stumbled as the door was kicked shut leaving her alone in the room with the...

Her knees buckled and she was dropped to the floor. Her blue eyes were wide with fear as she stared fixedly at his purple pants. Maybe if she didn't think about it, blocked it all out, he would go away. Her eyes were already closed by the time she heard his voice again.

"Is any bunny home? _Ahem_. Earth to, uh, _Alice_."

She couldn't help but flinch at the use of her name. He saw it.

"Oh, _Al-_**ice**." he sing-songed again. She felt his breath on her face, telling her he had bent down, and didn't stop the small whine that seeped into the air. It seemed to confuse him. "Is there, ah, something _wrong_?" He grabbed her chin when she didn't answer him, turning her face to him. She squeezed her eyes shut tighter when he shook her head, roughly. "Did you _hur_**t** yourself? _What is it_?" Her chin quivered. Her whole body trembled. "Look. At. **Me**."

She had no choice in the matter. Afraid for her life, she opened her eyes, briefly glancing at him before directing her gaze down to the floor and his brown loafers. A gloved hand patted her face, each pat more of a smack than anything.

"I'm _u_**p**_ here_, doll face."

She gulped back the lump in her throat, and slowly brought her eyes up to his chin. Her eyes skipped over his painted, scarred mouth, cringing at the sight. They travelled over his white nose and cheeks, and finally to his inky rimmed eyes. Eyes so dark they could have been black. She felt as though a block of ice had landed in her stomach as she fought nausea.

He cleared his throat. "Good. Now, care to explain that little, ah, _fainting_ stunt you pulled last night? And _what_ are you doing on the floor?" He tutted like a father that had just found his daughter piercing her own nose. Standing up, he took her under the arms and set her on her feet. He ruffled her hair. "Well?"

She didn't speak for several long moments. Just when she heard him sigh impatiently and open his mouth, her murmuring voice flowed into the air between them. Whispering out the Other's secret. "I'm... I'm not her."

His face appeared in front of her, peering up through her long black hair. "Wha_t_ was tha_t_?"

"I'm not... _her_. I'm not...not the Other."

"_What_?" he asked, his voice clipped, his patience wearing hazardously thin.

Her blue eyes seemed shy, scared, _foreign_ to him. "I'm not the girl you're... looking for."

Now that completely threw him. "What're you on abou_t_?" he asked, as if bored.

She closed her eyelids again, finding it much easier to speak when she didn't see him. She was relieved when he didn't protest. "I'm not the..." She exhaled softly between her whispers. "girl you're looking for."

"Oh, _really_? Then, ah, who _are_ you?" he said, disbelief painting his words.

She kept her eyes shut. "I'm... " Her next words were so low that he failed to hear them.

"Speak up." he spat. She could hear the squeaking of his gloves. Clenching and unclenching. She shivered.

"Alice." she said quickly, wincing at his sharp words. "I'm Alice."

"_That's_ strange, because I happen to, uh, _know_ an Alice and_ I have to say,_" He paused and she could just feel his eyes wandering over her. "you look _a lo_**t** like her."

"I'm not her." she whispered. "I was here first..."

"First?" he asked, almost mockingly. His voice was steadily getting lower and lower in pitch, flipping up to a higher tone at times. She had learned through the Other that this meant he was getting dangerously mad. Her breathing accelerated further.

"I was the first Alice." she said, her voice so hushed it came out in breaths of air. "She came after."

"_After wha_**t**?" he seethed, anger dripping into his voice.

Startled, she stepped back, eyes shooting open, flinching away from him. She stared off to the side at the red wall behind him. "The... explosion... the _glass_. The man..." She whimpered again and bit her bottom lip.

He took a step forward, growling in frustration. She backed up at his advance, clearly searching for a way out. The backs of her legs hit the bed. They stood there observing each other, his eyes taking in the red and white make up he had left on her when they kissed. It had only become more smeared from her sleeping on it. He wondered why she hadn't rubbed it off. He cocked his head to the side, squinting at the small woman and deciding he had never seen her look so frail. What the _hell_ was going on?

Trying his best to look menacing enough to get her to talk and not enough so that she was too afraid, he walked a foot or two back. He let out a long suffering sigh and closed his eyes. He was going to need a night on the town after this. Whatever _this_ was.

"Look," he ground out. "I'll try to be _pain_stakingly clear here." He opened his eyes to glare at her. "I want you to-"

At that moment the door to the room opened and a high-pitched voice bounced into the room followed by a young, voluptuous blonde.

"Has she woken up yet?" Harley asked. She shrunk back however, when a low, deadly snarl poured from the Joker. She resembled that of a puppy after being berated for taking a leak on the newly upholstered couch. He shot a glare her way before swiftly turning back to the other woman.

Only to find that his verbal attack aimed at Harley had frightened the other woman dearly. And she had fainted. For the second time.

Not ten minutes later, the two conscious occupants of the theater were out of the house and on their way for a night on the town, leaving the body of Alice to her dreams. The Joker deciding to let his frustration out through his work.

* * *

Her keys clashed and jingled as she dropped them on the table. Rambler scrambled on the hard wood floor towards her and she bent down to scratch behind his black ears. She smiled when he whined happily. She gave his rump a firm pat and he slid over to his food bowl. She watched him gobble up his remaining kibble, reminding her that she needed to eat as well. She let out a tired sigh as she glanced at the clock. It read 6:25. Just in time for a nice, healthy dinner of leftover takeout. It sounded like the beginning of a joke. Walking over to her blinking message machine, she pulled her hair out of it's long ponytail and pressed the play button. Each was from her mother, all five of them except the last, which ended with a sharp click directly after the machine picked up. She figured her mom must have given up by then. Knowing full well how her family worked, she decided to call now before everyone else in the immediate family was called, along with the neighbors.

Slipping out of her jacket and throwing it onto a chair, she sat down on her couch to call her mom. Really, her mother wasn't to be blamed for her protectiveness over her only daughter. With two boys ahead of her, Theresa had almost always been fancied as the baby of the family. Even when her sister had been around, Theresa had still been the baby. When the elder sister had gone, her mother's maternal streak had only increased tenfold. She shook her head out of her thoughts as the phone rang for the second time.

"Hello?" Genevieve Juniper's voice brought a small smile to her daughter. Not living down to her name, Genevieve was a passionate woman in the worst of times, and an emotional one at the best. Though she may have been shorter than all three of her children, each of them could remember every time they were reduced to an inch in height under the weight of their mother's stare. "Theresa, is that you?" she asked, annoyance tinging the edges of her words.

"Hi, Mom. Yeah, it's me."

"I called five times, you know." the matriarch said bluntly.

"Yeah, I know, I just got home. You know I don't get off of work until a quarter after." She paused, a thought striking her. "How's Benny? Did he get over his flu, yet?"

Genevieve's voice dampened somewhat. "He's still got a fever, but he hasn't vomited since this morning. I brought him some hot soup just a few minutes ago."

"Ma, you haven't been force-feeding the kid, have you?" Theresa asked, knowing how the older woman was about food. There was loud chuckle on the other end. And, she thought, a rather evil one at that. She bit back a smile, feeling very sorry for her young nephew. "You're gonna put him off of chicken noodle if your not careful."

"Oh, he already hates it. But he needs to keep his strength up and it's the only thing he can seem to keep down." There was a pause. Then the inevitable came. "We miss you."

Theresa let out a small sigh. "I miss you guys too, Mom."

"You're coming down for your Dad's birthday, right?"

"Yeah, Ma."

It was Genevieve's turn to sigh. "Just making sure. Gotham and Albany are pretty far apart."

"I'm only a phone call away." she needlessly reminded her. The messages on her machine were evidence enough to that.

"I know." her mother replied, grudgingly. "I just wish I could see my little girl more. Your room will be ready when you get here."

Theresa chuckled. "I bet. Have you guys even cleaned it since I left?"

"I go in every other week or so with a duster." Her daughter snorted. "Oh, be quiet."

"Sorry, sorry, forgive me." she teased, just picturing the eye roll that only Genevieve seemed to able to accomplish. Something about being a mother made one able to reprimand anyone at a single gesture.

"Alright, I'll let you go, just wanted to say hi. I love you, honey." Her mother's voice was coated in her love, it wasn't necessary for her to speak it aloud.

"I love you, too, Ma." They said their goodbyes and hung up.

Suppressing yet another sigh, Theresa pushed herself off of the couch and headed into the kitchen for her dinner. She grabbed the container from the fridge, decided to eat it cold, and plopped back down in front of the TV. When Rambler's large head landed heavily on her leg, she gave him a pat and tapped the cushion next to her. Now that his mistress was home and he'd had a good meal, the black shadow of a dog heaved himself up onto the couch. He settled comfortably, squishing Theresa and warming her cold feet at the same time.

Nothing was on but the news and a few laugh track sitcoms. Soon after she had finished her dinner, her eyes began to flutter shut, sleep falling into her. Her dreams tumbled in and out of each other. When one ended with a loud bang, her head sprang up. The dark mass of dog next to her got up as well and growled a loud bark. She shook her head a few times trying to wake herself up. Realizing the TV was still on, she turned it off. She wasn't usually one to fall asleep like that, but it had been a long day. It'd felt good to catch a few Zs. She checked the time, or several Zs as it was. Since when did she nap for three hours? She stood and stretched, planning on heading to bed when muted voices reached her ears through the walls. Rambler barked again, jumping down off the couch to stand behind her. Some guard dog.

Then there was a scream, and Theresa remembered the bang that had woken her up. Yells started to seep through as well, a man's deep voice. Her brow furrowing in confusion and sleep, she walked over to her wall and placed her ear next to it, Rambler following behind her. There was the man's voice. He asked a question. Then there was a smack and a woman's sobbing voice could be heard mumbling. She tore her face away from the wall, appalled. Nearly running to the phone, she stumbled around Rambler, and called 911. The operator told her the police would be sent as soon as possible, but wouldn't reach the apartment block for another twenty minutes.

She listened to the increasing yells and sobs next door. "I don't think we have another twenty minutes. Can't they come _now_?"

"I'm sorry, Miss, but there's been a disruption at City Hall." the young man said, calmly enough.

"What kind of disruption?" she asked desperately. The operator started to say something when Theresa heard a loud thump and a woman's cry. There was a gunshot and the phone was left laying on her couch. The young man's words were lost on deaf ears as Theresa clattered about in the kitchen. If she had heard what he was saying, perhaps she would have been a little more understanding as to why the police weren't rushing over to help. Perhaps, but she still would've gone.

She slid the kitchen knife into the hem of her pants back, balling her hands into fists at her side. She stepped up to the apartment next to hers and gave a sound knock. At first she heard nothing. She knocked again. This time she heard a man muttering and fast footsteps. Going away from the door. Again, she knocked, harder this time and longer. That seemed to be right because a moment later the door swung in and she stepped back as a man walked out, closing the door behind him. He stood in front of it, guarding. He was handsome, possibly in his early twenties with light, fluffy brown hair that hung just above his eyes. His height towered over her and he had broad shoulders above his muscular arms. She tried not to show how afraid she was.

"Hello." she said, after clearing her throat.

"What do you want?" his voice was harsh, a smoker's, not fitting at all with his appearance.

She composed herself. "I live next door." she said meaningfully, hoping he would get it. "I was wondering if you had any sugar I could use."

The man's upper lip curled up in a snarl. "You came here for sugar?"

"I'm baking a cake."

"At 9:00 o'clock at night?"

"Look, do you have the sugar or not?"

The tall man regarded her skeptically. She felt a creeping, nauseating feeling crawl up her back and she jumped when the door opened with a jolt. A light brown face framed by short, black hair stared out at her, the increasingly dark coloring on the woman's eye popping on her fair complexion. Her dark brown eyes were locked onto Theresa's, curious and pleading with her it seemed. Whether to help her, or herself, she didn't know. Suddenly the man hit the door causing it and the girl to fling back inside. On hearing her short cry of pain, Theresa stepped forward, only to be pushed back by the man.

She stumbled slightly before regaining her footing. She glared back at the man. "What did you do that for?" Her heart leapt to her throat, however, when his burning hand closed around her wrist. She struggled against his hold, but it was no use.

"Let me go!" she said firmly, brandishing her knife.

He wasn't at all affected. "I thought you wanted your sugar." he said, pulling her close enough to him that she could smell the alcohol on his stale breath. He bared his teeth in a contorted grin. Finding things had gone far enough, she took action. She sliced the knife into his leg and he let go, clutching his thigh. She dashed into the room, scrambling to shut the door before he entered as well. Locking the dead-bolt she turned around to find the girl standing behind her.

Her eyes were wide. "What have you done?" she whispered.

Too anxious to be confused or upset, Theresa took hold of the woman's arm. "C'mon we have to get to the fire escape befo-"

A loud pounding on the door interrupted her. Both women's heads snapped towards it, Theresa placing herself in front of the girl. She unconsciously raised the knife higher and tightened her grip.

The man's voice, reduced to a whine, oozed through the door. "Michelle... look what she's done me..." he whimpered. "Help me, pet, please... I-I can't stop the bleeding..."

"Robbie...?" Michelle whispered, starting to walk to the door. Theresa held tightly to her arm, however, and prevented her from getting any closer.

"I barely scratched him." Theresa hissed, trying to pull the other woman away.

"Michelle...." the man moaned, a slight agitated tone skipping in at the end. "Let me in... Help me." He pounded on the door again. Anyone who can hit a door that hard, thought Theresa, certainly doesn't need any help. "Help me!"

"R-Robbie, I-"

"_Michelle_!" roared the man outside. "Michelle, open the door!" The girl stepped back, jumping at his harsh voice. "Let me in, you little slut!" The door vibrated with his fists and yells.

Pulling the now crying girl with her, Theresa headed to the back of the apartment where she knew the fire escape was located. She was just opening the hallway window, when she heard an unfamiliar sound. Unfamiliar, yes, but that didn't mean she didn't know what it was. She felt panic rise to an overload in her stomach. She was out of ideas. If she fought, she would fail. This Robbie was strong enough to knock a door down, there was no way she could stand up to that. She searched desperately for a different outcome than the one that was repeatedly playing in her mind.

Turning to Michelle, she pushed her out of the window, shutting and locking it behind her. The girl, too busy crying to pay attention to what she was doing, complied easily. When she heard the window close however, she looked confused for a moment before horror set in. Theresa could hear her screaming from the other side of the glass. They couldn't get away in time. She could hear his footfalls now, getting closer by the minute. He would catch them, and he wouldn't be happy. So she would distract him and hopefully allow Michelle to get away. She had to trust that the young woman would have enough sense to leave. She took a deep breath, and ran full throttle down the hall.

He was not in the position she thought he'd be in. She had been expecting him to be facing her, waiting for her to reach him, or even running towards her. But no, his back was to her and he was standing in the middle of the room. She could barely see his tall figure in the darkness. The thought stopped her in her tracks. Hiding behind the wall at the end of the hallway, she examined the room. A light had been on when she had been in there before, now, if she hadn't just been in the dark hallway, she wouldn't have been able to see. Who had turned the light off?

It was eerily silent and the tension that had receded slightly from her running, eased back into her neck and shoulders. Robbie spun several times, staring around him. Searching for someone, or something.

"Where are you?" he yelled into the blackness. A deep fear showed clearly in not only his face, but his voice, his posture. Everything about him screamed it. "Show yourself!"

Theresa could only describe it as a presence. Whatever it was, it hadn't been there in the corner a second ago. The man whirled around, stumbling back. The presence stepped forward, looming in the shadows.

"Wh-what the hell do you want?" the man stuttered, trying pitifully to look as menacing as the presence did. When it reached him, he gurgled and fell to his knees. The stank smell of urine crept into Theresa's nose and she realized the man had pissed himself. He stared at the black being with wide eyes.

"Boo."

The man's wide eyes rolled back into his head as he fell, a sharp blow to the temple knocking him out. The early spring wind howled outside as Theresa stared on, unable to look away.

"You can come out now." His low, throaty voice startled her and she reflexively did as he asked. A little voice in the back of her head told her to leave enough room between them for her to run if she had to. She still had the knife, but somehow she didn't think that would work on this guy.

Even at her distance from him, he seemed to reach the ceiling. She could barely distinguish the body from the shadow, but was completely aware of the two coal rimmed eyes that stared out at her from beneath his guise. The name bubbled from her lips, insistent on being let out.

"Batman." she whispered.

He gave no sign that he had heard her, instead his head twitched lightly to the left, in the direction of the window. She could faintly hear sirens.

"The police are here." he growled. "They have your friend."

"Th-thank you." she sputtered, bewildered. The adrenalin high she had run on before was now streaming to a halt. Her mind was falling into shock.

He nodded.

"There was a gunshot..." she trailed off, the thought of where the gun she had heard had gone finally registering. Her eyes widened. "He still had it on him." she said, stunned.

Batman nodded, again.

The thought didn't transfer, it only caused her to fall further into numbness. She shook her head slowly at the sheer foolishness of what she had done. She could have died. Her eyes eventually travelled to the knife in her hand. She dropped it, wiping her sweaty hand on her pants.

"I don't believe I actually did that..." she said, in awe. Her gaze flitted to Robbie's still silhouette. She couldn't see it, but she knew there was a damp stain on his thigh from where she had cut him. She brought a hand up to massage her head as she closed her eyes. "I'm an absolute idiot."

She barely heard his deep voice. "Or just a lucky one."

Just then, there were several loud footfalls on the landing outside. Shouts soon followed and Theresa turned with a start. She tried to slow her breathing, bringing a hand up to her chest to feel her pounding heart. This night had completely fried her nerves.

"The cops are finally here." she said, as she turned back around to the empty room. She walked up to the now open window, looking out briefly before shutting it against the chilly night air. She had met Batman. The thought resonated within her, trailing in another. As the police surged in, she internally winced at her luck.

She had met Batman. And she hadn't had her camera.

* * *

**So things are heating up for our favorite duo and we got to see Batman. Not bad for one night, eh? If you guys didn't like anything or think I could improve on something, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Keep the lovin' comin'! With school already started, I'm trying my best to make sure I don't go away for a long while (reviews help, hint hint) Oh, and just so it's clear everyone has four more days to vote on the poll I have on my profile. I'd really appreciate the input. Alright, that's it. Thanks for reading.**

**Reviews are better than lucky idiot's!**


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